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Pursuing Relationships with Women

A “man-friendly” guide to approaching women, understanding them, and improving your odds in the relationship game.

Why am I Writing this Article?

I decided to write this article for my brother and all the other guys who can’t seem to figure out how to approach women. I’m not exactly Dr. Phil, but I know enough about men and women to share some advice. I’m going to break this down into a series of articles outlining the pursuit of relationships with women.

First, let me give a little background here. My brother, great guy that he is, was born without the “social genes” I was lucky enough to inherit. Needless to say, he’s only had a few girlfriends and those didn’t last very long due to his awkwardness with the fairer sex. So, after seeing his loneliness and failure to form any kind of opposite-gender relationship I took it upon myself to help the poor guy out. After all, he had no idea what he was doing wrong.

The Introduction

The first thing I should mention here is the introduction: what do you say when approaching a woman you’re interested in? Well, I find there are a few keys to this step that are good to remember:

  1. Be friendly, confident, & honest – show her that you’re

    someone she can trust, someone who’s interesting, and

    someone she’d be willing to spend at least a few minutes with.

  2. It’s not about you, it’s about her – let her know that you’re

    more interested in discovering who she is than you are in

    bragging about yourself and telling her your life story.

  3. KISS (Keep it simple, stupid) – remember, the more time you

    spend yakking, the less time you have to find out about her &

    if you don’t shut up, she’s more likely to be turned off and

    possibly walk away.

It’s really up to you what you say to her, but make sure whatever you say follows the guidelines above – you really don’t want to mess up your first impression. Remember, this is not a pick-up line; this is an introduction and like an important job interview you want to make sure you are representing yourself as positively as possible. Have confidence that she just might be interested in you after you introduce yourself and show her that you care.

Tell Her What She Wants to Hear

Now, I explained to my brother that women are not men. Obvious enough, yet so many guys think women operate in the same way we do…they don’t. Also, women are not other-worldly beings (as much as it may seem at times). So, in order for men to successfully form relationships with women, the first step is to learn how to communicate with them. By nature, women don’t speak man and men don’t speak woman; like any foreign language this takes a little time to study and practice. Generally, men’s conversation focuses on topics relating to anything that is a physical activity, compet

itive, or otherwise more primal and basic. This isn’t to say that guys are stupid, it’s just how our brains are wired. Women, on the other hand, tend to talk about more complicated subjects that usually involve relationships, concepts (rather than tangibles), and other “more sophisticated” things. Again, not to say that women are necessarily smarter than men – it’s just how their brains work. I’ll try not to get too technical here, but women’s left and right halves of the brain are connected in a way that allows them to constantly be processing information and mentally multi-tasking. Whereas men’s brains are not hooked up the same and that’s why we tend to focus on one thing at a time.

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  1. Tie Ginn

    On June 1, 2008 at 11:04 pm


    These are really good tips from a sister who cares. I appreciate your time and good intentions with the guidelines you present. Instead of techniques or pick-up lines, you laid the foundation for naturally being yourself. Righteous!!

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