Recovering From a Breakup

You probably witnessed  the entire scene as it was being played out, the signs are always there, signals that your intimate relationship is coming to an end.  Perhaps you chose to ignore the signs because you did not want the breakup to occur; hoping with your eyes shut that the signals were misread on your part.  You tried all you knew to prevent it but it happened.  When the breakup finally occurred,  the initial pain ripped through your body and soul causing havoc of emotions leaving you drained of energy, dazed, confused, and reflective in search of answers to what just happened.  Oh my!

Breakups are seldom amicable.  The person being rejected is going to feel pain because (in their mind) they are being thrown out , thrown away, much like rubbish and no one wants to be considered by another as being unfit or unworthy.  Often the person walking away from the relationship could care less about what the other will feel when they go away.  If the decision to – walk out, walk away, get gone, run, leave – has been reached then so be it. The one experiencing the pain must now recover from the breakup.  So what to do?

Accept, accept , accept that you are not being thrown away.  Do not drop another tear. Accept that the other person is just one of many people and the opportunity of meeting another is greater than you think.  Do not play mental games by killing the person in thought, or squeezing their heads with your fingers.  Do move right on with living your life and consider this a very tiny hiccup as you move toward other things.  When the other person appears in thought (and they will….a whole lot), remember the funniest moment you ever had with them and laugh, maybe even laugh out loud.

If you feel vulnerable now, stay away from the dating scene because someone who may find you interesting  does not want to hear about you and “Bubba” or how cute  “Monica’s” eyes were.  Allow old “Bub ” or “the eyes ” to remain wherever the heck they walked off to be.  You in turn walk off to a brighter future. Take control of your emotions. Deploy strength which still resides within you.  Get busy, start a new project, change your makeup palette, go to the gym and trade frustrations for muscles and a toned tight body. Learn a new language, take a trip to change your view.  Whatever you do, make it an activity that uses mental and physical energy (reading a book may be too passive).

You’ve got work to do, so dry those tears, get yourself out of bed, check your schedule, fill your calendar with activities and get moving.  Your joy and happiness is calling.  Don’t miss out.