Relationship Foundations

This is a thought i have had and the more i pay attention to other peoples relationships the more my thoughts are confirmed. A relationship is built on three things one of them is easily mistaken.  They are Trust, without trust stress builds and eventually breaks a person down. however trust has to be formed. Forming trust involves an unfortunate fight about trust make it through the fight all the while prove to the other you are being faithful.Trust is very important and can be a very difficult thing to gain. even harder for a couple that are confused or have very bad past experience. On the down side of having trust is a very problematic chance of having to much trust yes this can be a problem Ive seen it. One couple that trust the other completely can but at the first time one problem arises that wall of trust can or will fall. and after that the truth finally is seen and that’s when the relationship can be tested to see if it is true. The second part needed in a relationship. Is honesty this is made much easier by fulfilling trust, as well honestly also helps build trust can be a very difficult accomplishment of all. In order to believe what the other one says is true you have to trust them. In order to trust them they need to be honest. so how do you get this to work. It’s different for different reasons. But one way would be to gain trust first by other means. As for other means if one of the two in the relationship has the “I don’t trust very many people.” mood and finds they don’t trust the person they have the relationship with. Look to someone outside the relationship build trust about your loved one by asking others questions. Use answers others give and compare with things that you see day to day. In fewer words build trust through someone else. The third part a relationship should be built on is Love. Yeah i say Love what most people think you get for being in a relationship. Is the one thing needed before you even start the relationship. Now be warned Love is easily confused with Lust. I’ve fallen to lust myself and thought it was true love. So be careful in believing if it’s love or lust. If it’s lust when the relationship starts it’s lust the whole time and at some point you may realize that the relationship is not what it can be. If love is there before the relationship actually starts you can build the other parts of the relationship easy or at least it should come easier to both people of the relationship. I know I seem confused but let me explain a little easier……Here is a look at a lust relationship…… two people sit in a class in high school. They have been going to the same school for only half a year. He is the most popular football player and has the best class grades (but people only know him for football). She is the most popular girl because of her looks she is also an animal rights activist (but people know her for her looks). Everybody sees they are two most popular people in school. friends get talking and say they should get together (being popular they like the attention). they get together thinking it’s gonna be right because they are both popular. He thinks she likes his football career but learns she hates football. She feels he should like her animal rights ideas but soon learns that he thinks ” their just animals their stupid.” They find out that their not in love with each other. But instead of making it better for themselves. They stay together for the school but are unhappy. That’s never good when love is not there in the relationship.Here’s a love relationship without trust….. Two people have known each other for a few years now and have grown to love each other. they get into a relationship despite what other people say. people still tell them about the other person for the next year. For the year they were telling people to back off. After about a year trust was not there with them. They began questioning  each other and falling apart. after about another four months they broke up because of trust issues but still loved each other. They thought that if they started new relationships they would forget the other but it never happened but couldn’t trust each other enough to try again. Hard to trust what you won’t try to trust……..Now you may think I’m going to describe the right relationship……. Right……..Sorry no I can’t describe the right relationship all relationships will have problems and fights these fights are what test if the relationship is right or not. If you feel there is no end to a problem ever or it keeps haunting you then it might be a problem. Work through them as well as possible. After every fight ends the foundation of the relationship should get stronger. If it feels weaker after a fight trust your self and do what feels right. I don’t expect this to help save a relationship every time but i hope it helps.