Relationship Therapy: Abuse 1

Of the couples that drop out of treatment/therapy for domestic abuse, one must wonder if the woman (assuming that the abuse is not bidirectional) ever terminates the relationship.  Specifically, are the victims of domestic violence likely to leave their husbands?  It is a constant question among therapists whether or not the level of violence correlates to the likelihood of women leaving the relationship.  Though it may have once been thought that violent relationshps were stable, studies have shown that many battered women do leave their partners.  Husband emotional abuse was a stronger predictor of sepration and/or divorce than physical violence, with wives more likely to leve husbands who were severely emotionally abusive (Gortner, Berns, Jacobson, & Gottman, 1997).  To dispell the myths that battered or abused women do not leave their partners, a study was done to find out if victims of domestic violence are unlikely to leave their husbands.  Of the groups particpants it was found that 34% of the wives were beaten, 66% had been kicked, bitten, or hit and 24% of the husbands had been arrested on a domestic violence charge (Gortner, Berns, Jacobson, & Gottman, 1997).  

The couples chosen to participate in the study  were asked to particpate in a labartory interview, where they discussed areas of conflict within their relationship, most popular being im-laws, sex, money and communication.  Their reactions and interactions with their partners were coded and interpreted using the Specific Affect Coding System (SPAFF).  The SPAFF is a cultural-informant coding system in which coders consider an informational gestalt consisting of verbal content, voice tone, content, facial expression, gestures, and body movement (Gortner, Berns, Jacobson, & Gottman, 1997).   The behaviors of the speaker and listeners were divided into two areas.  The first affcetively neutral, which contained one of five positive affects: humor, affection, valiation, interst/curiosity and joy/enthusiasm.  The second containing ten negative affects: anger, disgust, contempt, domineering, belligerence, whining, sadness, tension, defensiveness and listening with stone walling.  Through the observation of the couples behavior and affect(s) during non-violent arguments as well while discussing areas of conflict Gortner et al., (1997) were able to clarify and dispell several clinical myths regarding the unlikelihood of women leaving their abusive partners.   

The most socially impacting myth dispelled during this research is that the victims of domestic abuse are unlikely to leave their abusive partners (husbands).  Whereas it was previously thought that violent relationships were stable, because of the woman’s inability to leave an abusive partner, it was found that just the opposite was true.  The relationships of violent couples are unstable.  In fact women initiate the divorce or separation, and they do not return to their abusive partners after the separation or divorce (Gortner, Berns, Jacobson, & Gottman, 1997).  Another myth dispelled was physical violence is the most important factor in a woman’s decision to leave.  In fact, as suggested earlier, physical violence did not predict women’s likelihood of leaving, emotional abuse did.  Emotional abuse acquires such strength because it retains its power.  It becomes associated with past acts of physical abuse, once that happens it gains momentum and can exercise defeat, intimidation and control over women similar to physical abuse.  This may explain why emotional abuse is such a high predictor of women initiating divorce or separation.