Relationships are funny things. They can go from great to terrible (or visa versa) in a heartbeat. Think back to when you were a kid and Dad let you have the keys to the car to go to the movies with friends. You thought, Wow! He is great! He didn’t have to let me have it, especially when I came home with a not-go-great grade on my term paper. I’ll bet I have the most terrific Dad in the universe! How quickly those thoughts vacated to the nether regions of the mind when you made a date the following weekend (without asking Dad for the car first) and then he said, “Not tonight. I’m letting your sister borrow it.”

“Not tonight? Dad, you’re kidding right? This is the same sister who banged it up the last time you let her borrow it. I’ve never even dented a fender. Beside, you let me have it the last time!”

But Dad was unmoved by your pitiful attempt to downgrade your own flesh and blood, and instantly you considered him something akin to the Devil’s Spawn. (I have some stories involving my own daughters I could tell, but I want my friends to continue thinking I am a good mother.) Childhood is a good time to learn that relationships with parents, family and friends, and superiors aren’t like they are in the Brady Bunch reruns.

As we get older, relationships become more and more difficult to navigate. For instance, how many of us ever really told our boss to take a long hike off of a short pier? Even if we don’t get along with someone, it’s always a good idea to stand down a notch or two when it comes to the one who signs the paychecks.

Then there’s that ever controversial relationship involving Man and Woman, Husband and Wife, Significant Other, Mate, Companion, whatever you choose to call that He and She thing that often eludes all of us at times. Believe me, I know, because I’ve tested it more times than I care to admit. After all is said and done, though, I have come to the conclusion that not only are Men from Mars and Women from Venus, and Men are like waffles and Women are like spaghetti, we really do think differently.

Men to not receive, perceive, process and understand information like women. Therefore, it’s like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. It simply ain’t gonna fit unless some concessions are made. And since we all aren’t architectural engineers, we have to fiddle around blindly at times until the square peg becomes a little more round, or the round hole is fashioned to accommodate the square peg.

Did you notice I used the word concession? It is a two-way street; otherwise, you’ll find yourself on a one way road heading straight into a dead end. For many of us who have had our faces smashed into that dead end several times, we eventually learn to give and take, whereby giving our relationships with others a fighting chance. We learn to search out partners and friends who also have learned to give and take. It takes a lot of work, not just for ourselves, but for each other. It is sad to admit, but before getting to this point, I have had the same hairdresser longer than my last two marriages combined. Despite a couple of disagreements between us, she has been there through all my grins and sins, cuts, curls, and coloring.

In this crazy, fast-paced, me-me-me and I-want-it-all-now world, it often pays to take the time to stop and smell the flowers, so to speak. Learn to give and take in any relationship. The world has never been one-sided, and it isn’t going to be just for one of us. So, take the time to listen to and share with the people in your life, whether it’s your child, sister, brother, parent, spouse, boss, or the friend you argued with last week. Open up your heart and mind to encompass the other person. Let them know you care and are willing to compromise even when you don’t see exactly eye-to-eye. You’ll be surprised at the warm, peaceful feeling you get when they reciprocate.