Release Through the Game of Flirting

There are two main types of people who flirt; married people and singletons. Single people, because well, they’re single and therefore nobody is obligated to have sex or talk with them. But married people are more of a riddle – they have already found that special someone. So why do they continue with the game?

Flirting comes so natural to us that we barely notice we’re doing it. Tilting a head back to expose the neck, smiling or laughing at something that isn’t really that funny, moving closer to the person making the unfunny jokes, and even mimicking their actions. Our body language is perhaps the most subtle expression of what our body is thinking and feeling. It is also a crucial factor in the game of flirting. A lot is conveyed before the first words are even uttered; a prolonged gaze to someone across the bar shows that you’re interested without even giving them a sign. And because flirting helps humans find mates faster and easier, it is an evolutionary trait hard wired into our brains. Animals even flirt; mice twitch their noses at potential mates, colourful peacocks strut around for admiring peahens, and pigeons puff their chests to look buff. As much as the human race have moved on from mice and feathers we still, in a way, do the same thing for the exact same reasons. This is the reason why some male birds have exotic plumes, why male fiddler crabs have huge claws and elk have hefty antlers. He waves his in the air, alerting females to his presence and signalling them to approach.

By studying humans in their natural habitat, scientists have documented the movements that we make when interested in someone else. It turns out that we are all rather predictable; a woman smiles, raises her eyebrows, opens her eyes wide, holds a man’s gaze, fidgets with her hair and tilts her head back. Whereas a man might jut out his chin, laugh aloud, smile, unconsciously flex an arm muscle and try to make his chest appear as large as possible. These may sound like ridiculous gestures, but they all mean something in the language of flirting. By comparing these gestures to animal movements you can gain an understanding of their intent. A woman tilting her head back and exposing the neck suggests a sign of vulnerability and submission. You can see this in dogs; when the male dog is approaching, the female turns her head away and flattens her ears as if to say “I’m a lover not a fighter.” The male dog then naturally assumes the dominant role. The female then also steals side glances just as humans do to show that she is interested yet hard to get.