Rules of the Perfect Spouse
by Getting marriage right (and keeping it there) is not as hard as you might think, especially with this guide to help you keep the love alive.
When a marriage fails, there is always one and only one cause: one spouse stops trying. It might be that one of you takes the other for granted. It might be that one of you is so troubled by stresses outside the marriage that it contaminates the relationship. It might be any number of things. But, in the end, what it all comes down to is one of you cuts the other off. It always ends the same way; one breaks the other’s heart with a thousand little cuts of neglect, and that builds a resentment between you that seems insurmountable. Then, you give up, and it’s all over.
You might say that one spouse gets selfish. He or she turns his or her attention inward, focusing on his/her own wants, desires, and problems. Sometimes, that spouse will feel bitter toward the other whenever that other, who is supposed to be the single most important, beloved, and valuable person in his/her life, needs that love the most. That’s when the problem turns critical.
Put Your Spouse First
This is the first rule because it is the most important. Put your spouse first, ALWAYS. That is, at its most basic level, precisely what love is. Two people, so devoted to each other, that they will each drop anything and everything whenever the other has a need. And that rule works both ways; your partner needs to put you first too.
It might seem like you’re giving up yourself. In a way, you are. But, if you both do this, you will get far more in return. You’ll feel gratified, and you’ll get everything you could have ever wanted. Most of all, you’ll be happy, and feel loved.
Has your spouse ever done something sweet for you, like make you breakfast in bed? Sure, you could make pancakes yourself without much effort, but isn’t it so much nicer to have them made for you?
Not only is it one less thing for you to do, but it is one more thing that shows you that he/she is putting you first; that he/she cares enough to do that for you. If you both do the same, and go above and beyond for each other, you’ll both feel rewarded, appreciated, and blissful.
Appreciation Works Wonders
Don’t take anything for granted. You don’t have to say “Thank you” every time he/she does something you never asked him/her to, but it won’t hurt you to.
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Post CommentJessica
On February 23, 2010 at 12:19 am
This article is by far the best I’ve EVER read about relationships. It’s the cold, hard, ugly truth. I’m thankful for this article, it’s made me think of things that I hadn’t before and it was so obvious.
Thank you so much!
Margaret
On March 19, 2010 at 9:21 pm
After reading a lot of marriage self-help that is ridden with stereotypes, yours is amazingly refreshing. You don’t try to imply that gender is tied down to certain weaknesses. When I read stereotype infused self-help, I begin to feel as though I’m impossibly flawed, that certain weaknesses are innate and can only be overcome through self-mutilation. Yet your advice reaches to the core and uplifts me to be humble and to give love unconditionally. Thanks!