Same Sex Long Term Friendships
by Having good trusted friends to go out with and have fun with is great but make sure they are trustworthy. Do you share the same values or will that person steal from you? Do you even know what their values are?
When dealing with same sex friends you need to use your confidence to control certain situations in your own life. Don’t allow others to make decisions for you or you are giving them the power over you to do it on a constant. When things don’t go right I guarantee you they will not accept the blame and put the blame on you. In all honesty, it would be your fault for not taking charge of your own decisions and conducting yourself in a manner suited to you.
You will find there are many in this world that love controlling others around them as well as situations. That is a character flaw that really needs to be controlled when in the presence of other people. It causes more problems between friends and families than any other I know of.
Don’t get me wrong the controlling character has its place if you are a boss of a company or if you are in the middle of an emergency situation. It is a great characteristic to have when leadership is needed. But most of the time they forget that not all situations can be controlled by them. If you are one that has a controlling characteristic keep it under control and use it in its proper place where it will serve you better.
You need to set ground rules between you. Openly discuss the ground rules with your friends so all of you know where you all stand. If you go out and start picking up guys/girls you will want everyone following the same rules. If you are interested in someone specifically you wouldn’t want one of your friends taking him/her out. They should be supportive of you and an encouragement to you; not undermining your desires.
By the same token, if one of your friends speaks up first about a man/woman you are interested in before you do, back off and be his/her support and encourage him/her. If that relationship doesn’t work and you are certain your friend doesn’t want to pursue it further then go for it; but talk to your friend and be sure it’s alright with him/her first.
Never take the word on face value alone regarding a date. Bitterness and anger oftentimes colors ones point of view of someone they just broke up with. Don’t be surprised if the man/woman refuses to date you if he/she knows you are a friend of the person they just broke up with. Some unfortunately dares their friends to make a date and brake it or embarrass the hell out of the person publicly for personal satisfaction at the others grief and pain. High school students are especially well known for such childish and hurtful behavior toward one another. If your friend suggests such behavior you might reconsider your friendship.
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