Secrets of a Hassle-Free Relationship
by If you’re one of those people who love a stress free love life, and let’s face it, not many of us don’t, then read on for ways to achieve your goal.
Some people believe there’s a special one out there for all of us, but the truth is that it’s possibly to have special relationships with many different partners – it’s just a question of knowing how to work at a situation so you get on brilliantly.
Plenty of partners “lose it” at the drop of a hat, and are puzzled as to why they never date anyone for too long…others have certain triggers they aren’t aware of that make them create drama in a relationship, where there needn’t be any.
None of us are perfect and few can honestly say they haven’t created a row out of nothing, or done or said something that will cause pain, without really understanding why they are doing it; especially when they really do care for that other person.
If there is constant hassle in your relationships and you are at a loss to know why, it may that taking these three steps will change the way you relate to a partner forever.
Firstly it’s a question of being aware of what is going on. If you are having the same argument over and over, or certain situations always prompt the same responses, then being aware that it is happening is crucial to making changes.
The second step is to accept that you both play a role in the conflict and that you do both have control over how you behave in certain situations. It isn’t them doing it to you, or making you react in certain ways – you do it and you alone. Likewise your partner must accept that what they say and do can be changed by themselves, if they choose to make those changes.
The next step is to make the decision together that change is the best option. Changes in the way you react to each other and they way you behave personally in the relationship, or any relationship.
This is a lot harder in reality of course, and counselling with a neutral outsider can do wonders if you are stuck in a loop. Even if your partner won’t go with you at first, going alone can help sort out the drama filled mess that are your relationships and provide an action plan for straightening things out.
Counsellors can help with self esteem issues and insecurities that often cause us to get into rows we end up wishing we had never started – after all, there are no winners when you’re constantly at each others’ throats. It’s not about fixing things for you, but opening up lines of communication so you start talking calmly about what needs to change.
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