Seven Easy Tips for Finding Romance

Be Interested

There’s only one thing more attractive than an interesting person, and that’s an interested person. Listen to what another person is saying. Ask them questions; try to find out more. If someone is telling you about their holiday, ask about the hotel and the weather and if they enjoyed themselves. If they tell you what they do for a job, ask how long they’ve done it. What did they do before? Do they enjoy it? Asking questions lets the other person know you’re listening. If they know you’re interested, then they start to feel like an interesting person. When they feel like they’re an interesting person, they feel good about themselves. It doesn’t take much for them to look at you and think “I feel good around this person… I want to spend more time with them.”

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Find Common Ground

Start asking yourself “What have I got in common with this person?” If you’ve been together for a while, then you’ve got some shared memories and experiences. Try asking your partner “Do you remember when we went to…?” “How about the day when we…?” Establish your common ground; revive memories of romantic times from the past. Suggest that maybe you could revisit some of your old haunts – or simply meet for lunch, the way you used to when you were dating. If this is a brand new relationship, try to find any interests or experiences that you share. Do you like to do the same things? Have you visited the same places? Do you have similar dreams and ambitions? Don’t forget, if you’re both single and looking for someone, you’ve already got something important in common!

Pay Attention to Body Language

Experts differ about how much of our communication is non-verbal, but most would agree that more than half of what we say to others is done without words. The way we sit or stand, the amount of eye contact that we make, how close we get to another person: all of these actions give powerful messages. The trick is not only to respond to what the other person does, but to deliberately give off signals that say “I’m emotionally connected to you.” Body language is a huge topic, but here are some basics:

• Make eye contact – but look away slightly later than you normally would and look back again sooner.
• Face towards the other person. Making eye contact while having your body turned away can seem flirtatious, but it can also seem half-interested. Keeping your body facing towards the other person, without crossed arms or legs, sends a clear “I’m focussed on you” message.
• Get into their personal space. This doesn’t mean that you should shove yourself in the other person’s face, but try to get slightly closer than would normally feel comfortable. If they back away, back off slightly. But if they don’t unconsciously move away, then hold it for a while before moving closer still.

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• Touch. Human beings all thrive on physical contact with others, and we all want it. The first time you held hands with your childhood sweetheart, your first proper kiss, a hug from an old friend: all these have powerful emotional resonances. For most people, a hand on the shoulder or upper back is neutral, a touch on hands or legs signals closeness, face or hair is very close. Anywhere else is private – don’t try touching there unless you’re sure you can!

Keep it Up!

Hopefully these tips will help you get some romance back into your life this Valentine’s, but remember that relationships take effort. Don’t just do these things once year – make them your habits for life!