How to keep the spark going after ten years of marriage.
Sex is definitely not the same after you’ve been married more than 10 years. “It’s not that we don’t love each other or are not attracted to each other” says a couple I spoke to recently. They informed me that it’s only because they have become so comfortable with each other and don’t believe it is necessary to put so much effort into having sex with your spouse. They know you want sex and you just have sex. They stated they don’t believe the little extras are necessary any more.
Guess What? The little extras are the reason both were attracted to each other in the first place. When people stop doing the little extras, it is when the couple begins having problems in their marriages.
Many folks, who are in this type of situation (comfortableness), end up cheating, separated, or divorced. Most of the time, the reason is because there was no excitement in the marriage, it was boring, they weren’t paid attention to. It is a fact that as we get older, our bodies change, we have children, and our energy level also changes; but the fact remains that who we are doesn’t change. We still want and need the same things as we did when we first met; love, affection, attraction, and wild sex.
In order for couples to remain together for 50+ years and have a happy marriage, we must return back to when we first met. Remember what turned that person on. Try to do the little things you did back then. Now if you are 50+ with a bad back, don’t attempt to have sex in a car – BIG MISTAKE! You will probably end up with a fine from a cop for indecent exposure, in the hospital or worse in a weird sex position stuck in the car. Use your judgment.
Play out fantasies, dress up, play out roles, write a sex story and read it to each other, set a day a month just to do something different to rekindle what you had when you met and what made you fall in love in the first place. If you are that comfortable with our mate, then these things should be very easy to do.
This is not the time for cheating, separation or divorce. This is the time for all married couples to set a positive and good example to the younger generation about how marriage is a commitment and even though there may rough and tough times, the love will keep you together.