So much anguish in the world can be traced directly to weddings and marriage. Why do it?
I am 100% in favor of people getting together in romantic relationships with each other. The world needs more love, and love should never be discouraged. Loving, nurturing, supporting relationships make the world a better place — but that has nothing to do with marriage.
The “institution” or “sacrament” of marriage is a complete fabrication, a socio-economic construct, created during a time when the only way a man could get his neighbor to stop having sex with “his” woman was to mark her as his property. Long before church weddings, this was done in the presence of the town council, or village elders, or his fellow cave-trolls, to gain public recognition and enforcement by whatever body was in charge at the time. The only way to get the “rights” of marriage enforced was to emplace them under the threat of punishment for anyone not respecting it.
That’s right, even when we wore breechcloths and lived in caves, people could only be officially married with the support of the government.
The public bonding ceremonies were created LONG before any religion decided to start calling it “holy”. The kind of weddings we think of today became the vogue much, much later in human history. The only women who still think weddings are “romantic” are the ones who have no idea what the ceremony actually means, where it comes from, or what kind of perpetual servitude they are pretending to sell themselves into.
Fun fact: There are gay men and women in this world — perhaps in your very neighborhood — who are protesting for their right to be chattel as well.
Where did the image of the big, fancy wedding come from? Not where you think.
There was a time in our history when it was not safe for the daughters or wives of anyone with money to be seen in public. At a time when “diplomacy” was done by kidnapping as well as by the sword, it was commonplace for an aspiring nobleman-to-be to simply kidnap the daughter or wife of the leader of the opposing group. For most of us, when somebody else has stolen your daughter and is threatening to kill her, that person has gained an incredible amount of power over your life.
So those men with money and power began to lock up their women in the castle, keep, house, hovel, lodge, or whatever dwelling he could fortify. It eventually reached the point where a woman in a truly rich family could only look forward to being seen in public three times during her entire life: