Should You Stay in This Relationship?

You think you may have met the man of your dreams, he’s smart, funny, sweet, the whole package and he makes you laugh. You want to think “he could be the one” but you’ve got this little tickle in the back of your brain that you just can’t get rid of. There are a few warning signs you should be looking for that tell you whether you should keep him or throw him back. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen too hard for this guy to find out your in a damaging or even in a dangerous relationship. Here are a few potential “warning signs” you should find out about now, before you let your heart get too involved.

• Scary Divorce Stories: If he starts telling you the story about his muddled divorce on the first or second date, listen carefully. Is he blaming his ex for everything? Is she the villain in every aspect, taking none of the responsibility for his marriage breaking up on himself? This could be a bad sign; most people realize that it takes two to end a marriage. This type of behavior should be telling you that he may not be grounded emotionally, and blames all his life problems on others and never himself.
• Chronic Lateness: If your date shows up late three times in a row, don’t wait for a forth. He will probably have some great excuses, but three times in a row sets a pattern that he’s pretty inconsiderate of your feelings and he may be saying in a round about way that he’s not all that interested in you. You don’t need him or his excuses. You deserve much better.
• Demon Children: Need I say more?
• Money, the start of so many relationship problems. Money stirs up many issues. If you have just met someone and he is hitting you up for money within two dates, your warning bells should be going off. Or, if you’re on your first date with a guy and he asks you to pay for half the dinner bill. Run; don’t walk to the nearest exit.
• Rudeness to Waiters: Or anyone in the service area. If he acts superior to people in this area, it won’t take long for him to find faults with you, again Run.
• The Parent Trap: If he’s an adult but his mother is still making many of the decisions for him, you could be in a world of trouble. It’s good for a man to be a good son and look after his mom, but there’s a line that must be drawn, if your out on a dinner date and his mother has called him three times before the desert has yet to arrive, get out while you still can.
• Bad Sex: Okay, maybe the first time the two of you have sex it may not be so great, but if it’s still not good after at least the third try, it’s time to say goodbye. This can work in the opposite direction too. Say the sex is great, mind blowing even. This does not mean you should over-look the other warning signs. It may be a shame and you may feel that God is pulling a mean trick on you but you can’t live your life or your relationship in the bedroom.
• Temper, Temper: If he has a short fuse and angers easily over the smallest things, your warning bells should be ringing loud and clear. Get away from him—NOW.
• Alcohol: If you meet for drinks and he’s drinking two or three to your one, watch out. One time may mean nothing but a bad day at work, but if you’ve been out together more than three times and it looks like drinking this way is normal for him—again, don’t wait to see if he’ll change. Cut your losses and keep on looking.
• Child Support Issues: If he’s dodging his child support payments, this may be a warning sign of irresponsibility. Do you really want someone who has children but does not want to care for them anymore?
• Meeting his friends: If you’ve met his friends and you think they are big losers, chances are, he will be too. How does he act around his friends? Does he start teasing you or putting you down a bit in front of others? He tells you he’s just “playing” but if it hurts your feelings then it’s not a joke to you. If you’ve let him know how you feel and he continues to do it, time to let him go.

These are only suggestions and of course, it’s your life you’re going to do what you want. There are different circumstances for different measures but sometimes, it’s better to be single and maybe a little lonely than to be attached to someone who has emotional baggage or seems a little “unhinged.” Chances are you will not grow old alone if you toss this guy over the side no matter what age you are now. Just think, if you get stuck with someone who has one or more of the problems above, then you will never see the one you truly wanted to begin with and he will slip right on by you