Signs Your Ex Wants to Try Again

It’s really confusing when someone who couldn’t stand the sight of you a few weeks ago then gets back in touch and comes across all nicey nicey. Take Kate for example, whose boyfriend of five months finished with her by text, then messages her on Facebook a fortnight later, asking what’s she’s up to.

Although the sensible side of Kate knows she should tell him to get lost, another part, the part that really fell for him, is curious to know what he’s thinking. After all, he wouldn’t get back in touch if he wasn’t missing her, would he?

When they discuss new relationships, she’s relieved to hear he hasn’t found anyone new, and he seems really interested in who she might or might not be dating.

So she agrees to meet up with him and when they hug, she can sense he still wants her big style. But then she gets all confused; he did finish with her, after all, and not in a very nice way. She’s desperate to know what’s going on in his head and if she is reading the signs right.

Kate is falling into the trap so many of us have tripped into too, which is worrying about what our partner wants more than what we want ourselves. It’s possible to spend hour after hour going over and over things that were said, physical stuff that happened, their lack of affection or too much of it, their unavailability when you needed them, their refusal to commit on a level you wanted…

There could be any amount of thoughts going through his head, all of which change on a daily basis. Just because he wants Kate’s company that day, doesn’t mean he will want it tomorrow – based on this guy’s past record, he will keep changing his mind throughout any kind of relationship she manages to get with him.

There are many, many duffers out there who can’t make up their mind. About anything, let alone something as significant as their feelings. If they finished with you once or changed their mind about something really important once, then they really are capable of doing that same trick again. And again.

Americans call this sort of behaviour being jerked around. Kate, don’t waste your time wondering if they do or don’t want to get back with you and find someone who is man, or woman, enough to communicate adult emotions. If you have stated your case and said what you need from a relationship, then it doesn’t happen…don’t sell yourself short.