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Signs Your Wife/Girlfriend is Having an Affair

If you think your wife or girlfriend is having an affair, these strategies will help you to recognize the signs.

You can’t put your finger on it, but you detect something has changed in your wife or girlfriend that leads you to believe she is having an affair. Stop fretting over it, do some sleuthing, and get to the bottom of it. Just be sure to keep your thoughts to yourself and don’t confront her until after you have enough proof. Think about it. If she really is having an affair, she lies to you all the time already. She isn’t going to be forthright unless you have plenty of evidence.

Start Checking the Mail Yourself

No, we don’t think her lover is sending her written declarations of undying love for you to find. Check for anything out of the ordinary for her habits. Don’t open it, of course, but something like a Victoria’s Secret bill is a tip off if you never see her in anything but granny panties and a sports bra. Any credit cards that are a surprise to you should put you on notice. She may be ordering a lot of things online, too, so be on alert for packages. Note the company it came from or the return address. Find out what kinds of things they sell. If it is fishing tackle and neither of you are outdoorsy, you better hope it is a gift for her dad.

Review the Credit Card Bills

This can be tricky if she is a girlfriend who doesn’t live with you. If she is eating at a particular restaurant repeatedly and it isn’t one she mentions, be on alert. Be concerned if the dollar amount suggests she is paying for two. Keep track of the dates and make sure she wasn’t out for a night with the girls before you accuse her of cheating. Pay close attention to dates she was working overtime or out of town – if her credit card places her somewhere else, you have cause to be suspect.

Overtime? Hardly!

So all of a sudden she is spending more time at work, is she? Maybe she’s going in a bit earlier or staying late on a regular basis than she used to. Check her pay stub. If all that overtime isn’t in her paycheck, be concerned. Try something spontaneous to catch her in this lie. The next time she emails you she is “working late,” show up at her office around 5, and bring dinner. If you really want to up the ante, bring enough for several of her colleagues, too. Announce you are there to see your girlfriend or wife since she is working late and you wanted to make sure she had her favorite Chinese food to fuel her OT. Wait for the confused expression as they tell you she’s already gone for the day… or worse – she took the day off. Check her pay stub for any personal days or vacation time that doesn’t jibe with her schedule.

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User Comments
  1. Karen B.

    On June 13, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Thanks for the help not getting caught :-)

  2. Anon

    On July 9, 2008 at 5:00 am



  3. Old friend from Park City

    On November 30, 2008 at 12:53 am

    Is this the Kelly from Salt Lake.. ? Nice article, would love to catch up!

  4. Douglas

    On April 2, 2009 at 12:23 am

    Karen B, go f*** yourself.

  5. Mary

    On April 2, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Wow, Douglas. You must have been burned before. No need to take it out on Karen.

  6. Mack

    On June 5, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Screw Karen and Mary. F***in’ women.

  7. Terry

    On February 12, 2011 at 11:36 am

    I hope u get breast caner u cheaten bitches!

  8. Robert Miles

    On March 6, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn’t know what to do. Here I was stuck in a dead-end marriage and just wanted out. It wasn’t until I took our computer in to the shop to clean a virus, and I got talking to the guy and he was telling me that computers have records of everything you just need to know where to look.

    When I went home I began searching the internet to see if there was any evidence of what my wife was up to. I came across this one website ( ) where I was able to provide them with a few files from my computer and they were able to tell me all the websites my husband was accessing, including some dating sites where I was actually able to see some the guys she was engaging.

    I now had the information I needed to finally approach her about this, and this was one of the most important and hardest things I had to do but I am so grateful that I did. I feel so free and happy, now that I have moved on and I suggest anyone else in the same situation to do the same.

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