If you think your wife or girlfriend is having an affair, these strategies will help you to recognize the signs.
You can’t put your finger on it, but you detect something has changed in your wife or girlfriend that leads you to believe she is having an affair. Stop fretting over it, do some sleuthing, and get to the bottom of it. Just be sure to keep your thoughts to yourself and don’t confront her until after you have enough proof. Think about it. If she really is having an affair, she lies to you all the time already. She isn’t going to be forthright unless you have plenty of evidence.
Start Checking the Mail Yourself
No, we don’t think her lover is sending her written declarations of undying love for you to find. Check for anything out of the ordinary for her habits. Don’t open it, of course, but something like a Victoria’s Secret bill is a tip off if you never see her in anything but granny panties and a sports bra. Any credit cards that are a surprise to you should put you on notice. She may be ordering a lot of things online, too, so be on alert for packages. Note the company it came from or the return address. Find out what kinds of things they sell. If it is fishing tackle and neither of you are outdoorsy, you better hope it is a gift for her dad.
Review the Credit Card Bills
This can be tricky if she is a girlfriend who doesn’t live with you. If she is eating at a particular restaurant repeatedly and it isn’t one she mentions, be on alert. Be concerned if the dollar amount suggests she is paying for two. Keep track of the dates and make sure she wasn’t out for a night with the girls before you accuse her of cheating. Pay close attention to dates she was working overtime or out of town – if her credit card places her somewhere else, you have cause to be suspect.
So all of a sudden she is spending more time at work, is she? Maybe she’s going in a bit earlier or staying late on a regular basis than she used to. Check her pay stub. If all that overtime isn’t in her paycheck, be concerned. Try something spontaneous to catch her in this lie. The next time she emails you she is “working late,” show up at her office around 5, and bring dinner. If you really want to up the ante, bring enough for several of her colleagues, too. Announce you are there to see your girlfriend or wife since she is working late and you wanted to make sure she had her favorite Chinese food to fuel her OT. Wait for the confused expression as they tell you she’s already gone for the day… or worse – she took the day off. Check her pay stub for any personal days or vacation time that doesn’t jibe with her schedule.