Six Tips for What to Expect From Marriage Counseling

Image via Wikipedia

Marriage counseling is a dirty word in most married households. For couples, it signals that what were once small issues and problems have escalated to the point that outside help must be sought. It is rare that both partners reach this decision level at the same time. More often than not, one partner feels and endures the situation to near the point of departure from the relationship. It is when that partner explodes emotionally or simply announces a separation that the other partner realizes the size and complexity of the problems. What could have been solved with some frank discussions a month or a year ago will now require counseling and a long-term commitment to the relationship to fix.

Because every family’s story has two sides, no counselor can give correct and effective counseling without interviewing both partners. Usually, these interviews are best conducted with one partner at a time. It is common for both partners to come together, but each gets to see the counselor for about one half of the session. The counselor may bring both parties back together at the end for a brief outline of steps both should take before the next session to begin rebuilding the relationship. The problems may or may not be covered in this summary time.

Often the two accounts will have a wide discrepancy in the stated facts. It is the counselor’s job to devise a plan to get the stories to merge into one somewhat accurate picture of the relationship. From this effort, questions will be formulated to reconcile the two accounts.

Depending on the whether there is physical danger possible between the marriage partners, the counselor may choose to do the second interviews together or individually again. Also, keeping the interviews separate in this second session can allow the counselor to control the emotional level of the effort. However, the true will usually emerge quicker when the couple is interviewed together if they can remain civil toward each other. Additional homework will be assigned to the couple after the results of the previous assignments have been evaluated.