So You Want to Change a Friend Into a Lover?

Sometimes true love can grow right under our noses while we are busy elsewhere. By the time we cotton on to whats before us, and figure out what our true feelings are, we may find that the object of our affections sees us as just a friend.

Friendship is a great foundation on which to establish a relationship. But if you are unsure about how the other person feels about you, or suspect that they just don’t see you in the way that you would like them to, there are subtle ways to discover whether you stand a chance.

Although honesty really is the best policy you probably wont want to plough on in there and tell him/her how you feel. The fear of rejection, coupled with the worry that you may lose your friendship if you are hasty will, no doubt, prevent you from revealing your inner thoughts.

Another, more subtle, way to proceed though, is to er on the side of caution while hinting at possibilities. This will give your friend a hint as to whats going on, without being blatantly obvious or shoving them into an emotional corner where they are forced to hand out a speedy response.

This can be done by either waiting for a conversation about relationships or dating to naturally come up, or by orchestrating one yourself.

As your conversation progresses you can mention casually that some of the best relationships that you have heard of stem from the couple having been friends first.

You can then say that if a friendship began to become something more with you then you would want your friend to make the first move as you would be too shy.

It doesn’t matter if you are really shy or not at this point. The idea of saying that you are gives your friend the green light to move ahead and form a relationship with you if they want to.

It also lets them remain safely as they are, as just friends with you if this is what they prefer without making the situation awkward.

You may find that you friend has been harbouring secret feelings for you also, and that your conversation prompts them to open up and let you know.

Or, it could be that your friend prefers not to change things, and so doesn’t respond. Either way, you wont have made a fool of yourself and there is no reason why your friendship has to end, unless you prefer to let go yourself, and to discover pastures anew.