Social Skills – Netiquette or Etiquette?

The Internet is a wonderful place to make new friends. There are social networks aplenty, forums for just about any subject you can imagine and loads of websites you can participate in to feel a part of a community. We can even communicate so easily now with our loved ones via technology to the extent that sending your moody teenager a text message from your phone in the kitchen to theirs in the bedroom just to let them know dinner is ready is a normal occurrence.

While this is all wonderful; when was the last time you had a proper conversation with someone face to face? And are we in danger of losing the art of good old fashioned social skills?

Having a ‘D & M’ conversation (deep and meaningful) with your best mate via email or MSN is all well and good but really, you’re only getting half the picture. You can stop to think before you reply, choose your words carefully (or not!) and it’s far easier to hide your feelings or even lie with this sort of conversation. There is even a word for Internet etiquette – ‘netiquette’ but are we in danger of forgetting the basic etiquette for real life social skills?

How do you deal with ordinary, every day people during your daily life?

Are you rude to people because they are rude to you?

Do you find yourself getting cranky waiting in line at the supermarket because the old lady in front is counting out the amount she owes in coins?

How are your manners? Do you say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’ or do you just not bother because these people are paid to get you what you want?

Maybe it’s time to brush up on your social skills.

• Don’t have expectations – this is the biggest reason people get angry or annoyed with others. If you expect that person to be polite, if you expect that person in the car to give way, if you expect the bus to be on time and they aren’t – you feel let down, disappointed or just down right angry. Drop those expectations and focus on yourself; by doing this you will be far less affected by these every day events and you will also be more in control by not relying on things working out how you expect them to.
• Don’t wait for that person to smile at you, or be polite to you – allow them to mirror you not the other way round. I have had wonderful conversations with people in the street that appeared grumpy, just by smiling and asking “How are you?”
• Talking with other people is one of life’s pleasures but don’t forget to listen. If you don’t know how to listen, people will not want to talk to you. Too many people are more interested in what they want to say than they are in actually listening to the other person.
• Don’t forget your manners. Yes, people in shops, restaurants, garages and other places of business are paid to serve you but being acknowledged for their job is icing on the cake – a tip does not replace your spoken gratitude. Also, try opening a door for someone just to see their reaction.
• Keep your cool if something doesn’t go your way. If something you are paying for isn’t to your liking you will get much better service by handling it without getting angry. Ask anyone who works in customer service and they will tell you this is so.
• Be patient with other people. Patience really is a virtue. It really doesn’t help to get aggravated because the elderly man at the front of the line is having problems getting the money from his wallet or the lady with a toddler and a baby is struggling to unload her shopping – far better to offer to help them than to get frustrated by having to wait just a few more moments.

When you treat other people nicely, you feel nicer yourself – and if you don’t believe me just give it a try! You’ve got nothing to lose.