Ten Things You Can Do When the Other Person is Pornography

Most marriages and relationships are plagued by problems of infidelity and constant counter-accusations from both ends, making it almost impossible to live in a peaceful environment without suspicion and doubt. It is not unusual these days for a spouse or lover to be handed a heart-breaking surprise package in learning the “other person” is a same-sex partner. This growing trend may not be as shocking as finding out that the “other person” is a faceless doll on the internet. Before you begin to loose sleep and sweat about it, be sure you understand first and foremost that pornography is a strong spiritual force, capable of ruining a individual’s mind and personality; similar to the effects of drugs and alcohol. Below are ten things you can do to restore peace of mind and possibly put your relationship back in order:

• Never try to compete with a faceless person. You can count on one thing – a man can always tell the difference between his “playboy toy” and his wife. Therefore, it is more honorable to quit playing the competitive game of defending your territory by trying to be more seductive and sexually provocative. This is sometimes an unconscious or psychological response to the problem at hand, stemming from the belief that you may not be good enough. You may not be capable of winning your partner back by being the sex idol they met on the internet. Any attempt to do that would make you appear as a toy, but never really feel like one. That way, you tend to present yourself as one that can be easily discarded at will. It is almost impossible to compete with a professional sex coach whose instincts, moves and sexual urges are way out of the ordinary. They are indeed extraordinary, because they are motivated by lust, and their actions programed in evil for the downward spiral fall of man from grace and integrity into sexual bondage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with couples trying to explore their bodies in order to satisfy each others’ sexual desires and fantasies. Nevertheless, it is degrading to follow a prescribed pattern formulated to market and commercialize the very act of sex.
• Engage your partner’s mind positively. Psychologist and therapists now agree that there is a child trapped in every adult, possibly due to past emotional or traumatic experiences. Sudden child-like tendencies displayed in adulthood may be triggered by unresolved emotional issues, stress, or rejection which could in turn provoke the feeling of the need for escape. It is at such times that some people find a need to explore and maximize their sexual experiences. Most committed and well-groomed people fall prey to their sexual fantasies especially when they fear condemnation by their partners. Engaging your partner in discussions that make them feel free and unashamed to  share their fantasies can be therapeutic.
• Occupy your partner’s time. Never underestimate the power of fresh hope. Begin to rekindle old ideas and dreams and discuss new possibilities in education, finances and exotic vacation trips. This is necessary because once you stop taking on new challenges and start living on past glory, you soon begin to feel somewhat inadequate. For instance, when a woman accepts her God-given roles as a mid-wife, who helps to birth both children and dreams of her husband, there is hardly any room  or time to pursue  any ulterior or evil plans. Such liberation can be achieved by being both a  cheerleader and a motivator in your relationship or marriage.
• Turn competitions into challenges. Instead of competing with an unknown individual, focus light on areas of self improvement for each other. This will enhance better communication and enable a more romantic relationship.
• Re-evaluate your relationship. Three is always a crowd in any twosome relationship. Therefore, when any party in a relationship finds the need for someone new, it is time for re-evaluation. Begin by considering the possibility of past acts of rejection, unresolved issues, trouble at work or any suspicious occurrences. Most people crawl into a shell and take out their old favorite toy usually when they feel rejected.
• Create a new belief system. This can engage your partner spiritually. Join a local church, a support group, or some organization where you can both learn that life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived. When we are overwhelmed by stressful situations, we tend to look for answers in the wrong places. Prolonged difficult situations in our lives create an emptiness that only God can fill. His invisible hands of providence, design many such problems to challenge us into seeking after our divine destiny and purpose. It is no longer news that those who resort to the use of alcohol, sex or drugs to fill the empty spaces in their hearts during times of distress end up seeking help and deliverance from self-destruction.
• Redefine hope and trust. Innocent trust is developed when we can share our inner-most fears with people we love and cherish, even when such fears appear foolish. It is with people whom we can share such hopes and fears, that we can safely call friends for life. If your partner is yet to find such person in you, this is the time to enable it. Every child tends to see the world through the eyes of a loving parent or guardian. Hence, even in scary situations, a parent or guardian’s calm look is enough assurance that everything will be fine. Discuss freely, issues that will rekindle trust and hope without downplaying your partner’s masculinity or femininity, integrity, or even their need for such.
• Communicate clearly. Leave no room for misunderstanding or mis-communication as this often leads to feelings of rejection or rebellion. Communicate intimacy as a desirable experience even when you have mood swings that portray a different story about your sexual appetite. As far as a your partner is concerned, there can be no legitimate excuse for not granting their bedroom rights. Therefore, you should step-up your communication skills and be sure to exclude any expressions of rejection.
• Reward positive changes.  Every effort made towards change should be recognized, appreciated, and openly affirmed. This is important because nobody wants to be driven to forsake  things that bring them pleasure in order to make someone else happy without reaping some benefit(s) out of the process.
• Sanctify your home. Sanctification against all forms of deviant activities by thinking and confessing positively is essential. All forms of sexual perversion, lust, anger, rage, and domestic violence are always common in homes or relationships where pornography is actively practiced.