The Art of Love, More Commonly Known as Sex
by I believe that sex is not the be all and end all of a marriage and you don’t worry or even think about it if all is going well but as soon as the sex starts to be a chore that’s when the problems start and its not always the woman going off sex, men in a marriage are just as likely to get times when sex is most definitely not on their mind every three seconds.
For anyone that is ‘really’ familiar with my style of writing you will already know that I love to write about the art of love making and sex through my erotic literature. Not to everyone’s taste and approval I know but there is something deep and meaningful about sharing the art of love, more commonly known as sex.
I have a friend who works as a psychologist, she works very hard dealing with people who have been through the most traumatic of times and she can do this with her eyes closed, well not literally because that would be rude. However her company started to take on client’s… couples that were going through marriage problems, mainly to do with sex.
My friend although she new how to talk to them about their problems and could work through other areas of their marriage, she always got a little stumped when it came to the sexual side of things. We talked in detail about this, not about any particular person but just about sexual problems in general.
I believe that sex is not the be all and end all of a marriage and you don’t worry or even think about it if all is going well but as soon as the sex starts to be a chore that’s when the problems start and its not always the woman going off sex, men in a marriage are just as likely to get times when sex is most definitely not on their mind every 3 seconds.
Just this morning another friend told me she was irritated and sexually frustrated because her and her husband haven’t had sex for months, this is not a new problem it has been going on for some years, where they completely loose touch with one another and then as time goes by they just get in to more of a rut. She is even thinking of taking a lover, which is a little extreme when the problem could be solved if they would just turn off the TV and talk, sort out the problems.
Sex is just an undercover agent for marital problems. The problems are there already staring you in the face but it is easier to blame the sex rather than face the problem. The man gets home from work tired, over worked and hungry. His wife bites his head off as soon as he comes in the door because he didn’t put the bins out, toilet seat down or pick up his dirty under pants from the bathroom floor.
All these problems can be solved, with just a little understanding from both parties. A really great thing to do when you both get together in the evening is dance together, not a slow dance but put on music you like to dance hard to. Do this before anything else. Leave the dinner, leave the bins, leave the dirty pants and dance.
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This way the first time you really speak to each other your bodies will be less stressed, your body will have released endorphins (they are happy hormones) and if you do the dancing right with warm up, dance and cool down, I guarantee you will both be in a better frame of mind to talk through other problems that may be troubling you.
In this day and age it doesn’t take much to make you feel stressed, undesirable and sex between two loved ones should be the best experience you have together as a couple.
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Post Commentken bultman
On October 22, 2009 at 9:51 am
Well presented as always. Now I know my problem. I can’t dance, either.
alc
On October 22, 2009 at 9:59 am
Great article coming from a young single mother that made mistakes but never regrets anything!
Frances Lawrence
On October 22, 2009 at 10:19 am
It was and interesting read. The thought of my husband and I having to dance too stressful! It is important to make time for each other.
lillyrose
On October 22, 2009 at 10:47 am
hahaha… you don’t have to be perfect at dancing, just sway along!
Sn0W1310
On October 22, 2009 at 2:11 pm
I like the idea of usin dance to wind down before something sets you off. Great article, brilliant idea
Hollywood James
On October 22, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Good article! I wouldn’t however use the words sex and love synonomously because quite often they don’t go hand-in-hand. Sex in a marriage usually will dull and you need to spice things up, but there are plenty of ways to do that…just go to your nearest adult novelty store and agree on some things. Just because your sex life in a marriage starts to dwindle, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the love the two people share is any less than when they first got married, it just means that over time the two of you are just used to seeing each other naked and that you’ve tried every position known to man so what’s left to do? My suggestion is to get creative. Put some time and effort into making things more exciting and stop taking your partner for granted. Consider yourself lucky to have someone ready, willing, and able to have sex with at any moment. Communicate with each other and put some effort into it…just remember…if you don’t want it…there are plenty of other people who will be more than happy to relieve you of your “problem.”
lillyrose
On October 22, 2009 at 3:45 pm
It not always the sex thats the problem, it is the communication that needs to be spot on!! If you are grumpy because something is bothering you no amount of sex toys will sort that out!
The Last Ogre
On October 22, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Sex is a very interesting topic lol. Good post.
petercurtis97
On October 22, 2009 at 4:40 pm
hahaha I just loved that reply and so true. I loved your article it really got to the nitty gritty of sexual awareness and yes you don’t need sex all the time learn to appreciate your partner yes dance and relax tell them you really love them and try to get through to where you are now at this moment. In psychology there is sex related moments as in Freud related theories where all is related back to a sexual implication. A good write enjoyed it again.
David Crerand
On October 22, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I love the suggestion to dance. Very insightful.
Tanya Wallace
On October 22, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Great article dealing with a wonderful topic not a lot like to touch on! I agree about the dancing.The bonds will begin to break when you lose touch with your love. Fab insight and a very enjoyable read!
jimbob1
On October 22, 2009 at 7:32 pm
As per usual, you have struck an interesting chord with this one…remember that it takes two to tangle and two to tango…but a couple don’t have to dance the tango…just holding each other close and shuffling and swaying back and forth can break down lots of barriers…something even as simple as affectionate hugs can do the trick. Thanks fot sharing.
writing4angels
On October 22, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Oh I thought financial issues are more vibrant in case of marriage troubles! Sex can be a part of marriage issues too. Thanks for sharing.
lillyrose
On October 23, 2009 at 5:24 am
Yes money can be a big part of marriage troubles but thats not the physical side. I find that if the sex is good and you feel wanted and loved, the money troubles don’t seem to matter that much, as long as you have a roof over your head and food in your belly and your lover in your arms, you will get by.
Lee Ness
On October 23, 2009 at 7:06 am
Hi lillyrose,
Very true article about sex. You write very well on this topic.
I think you are right on the mark about sex especailly when you are over 40 etc… Your writing style and topic are very good for readers. I do enjoy them… keep up the awesome work.
Lee Ness
STEVE666
On October 23, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Good article, Lily.
Most men, you say, think about sex every three seconds? Is that all!
jaysland
On October 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Lilly, sex I believe is the glue that God put in marriages to keep us close. A marriage without sex is usually an unhappy affair. The more my wife and I “get together” the closer we are. Keeping it fresh and different, out of the rut. Staying close physically will help you stay close emotionally with a man. At least for me that is. Thanks for the great article. Being closest to your spouse is worth all of the effort it takes. And having a happy exciting marriage is worth being unselfish with the happiness it brings!!!!~Jay
Lostash
On October 23, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Talking can be incredibly sexy, but its a dying art these days. People use sex as an excuse to not communicate too. If two people REALLY know each other, then talking through their problems is a lot easier. The trouble is, so many people jump into relationships based on sex without even knowing the person they’re sleeping with. Not a good foundation if you want a relationship.
deep blue
On October 24, 2009 at 7:35 am
Well written my friend. It starts when a relationship is based on lower organs talking and the brain merely observing. Then time comes the lower organs have ran out of topic and the brain can’t start up with a simple conversation. It’s like waking up in a dream sharing bed with a stranger and however awkward it is, someone has to break the silence with a question. Erhmmnn, what’s your name again?
Jane Jane
On October 24, 2009 at 9:22 am
interesting article in a very catchy topic.
live and lovin life
On October 29, 2009 at 1:52 pm
very interesting…..
Sexyhood03
On October 29, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I love this lily great info going too try it.