The Best Way to Apologize to a Friend
Sometimes it can be difficult to apologize to a friend. Say you’re sorry and get your friendship back on course.
Sometimes an argument with a friend can happen over the most silly things. It may have seemed important at the time, but after you cool off a bit and analyze the situation, you realize your argument wasn’t so important after all. All your want is your friendship back. The good news is a sincere apology can work wonders at healing an argument and getting you back into the good graces of your friend. Here’s how to apologize to a friend:
- If at all possible, apologize in person. You want to deliver your apology in the most personal way possible so your friend can see your facial expression. Avoid apologizing by phone or email if at all possible.
- Apologize as soon as you can after the argument. Don’t allow too much time for additional anger to build up between you and your friend.
- Practice what you plan to say in your apology until you’re satisfied with it. You may only get one chance to say what you have to say. Make sure your apology is well thought out and clearly stated.
- Be willing to accept the blame. Don’t deliver a partial apology which will only come off as insincere. Acknowledge your role in the misunderstanding.
- Make eye contact when you deliver your apology. Don’t look down out the ground, cross your arms or give other signs of being defensive or insincere. Let your friend know you mean it.
- Be willing to listen to your friend after you deliver your apology. If your friend wants to discuss the issue further, listen without forming a judgment or escalating the argument further. Your friend may feel better after she voices her feelings.
- Have a plan for after you’ve delivered your apology. You might want to take your friend out for a cup of coffee so you can relax and renew your friendship.
- Remember the purpose of apologizing is not to win the argument, but to reestablish your friendship. Resist the urge to make any final excuses or justifications to support your side of the argument.
- If your friend doesn’t accept your apology right away, give her some time and space. Sometimes it takes a little time for someone to come to terms with an apology. Don’t rush her. Hopefully, these tips will help you when you next need to know how to apologize to a friend. Remember, no argument is more important than friendship. Friends are truly life’s greatest treasures.
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Post CommentMJ
On March 3, 2008 at 12:39 am
What if i dont have the chance to meet my friend in person?
monica
On May 10, 2008 at 11:09 am
send an email or call your friend
martha
On June 6, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I found like the exact same thing on another website. I think this was a copy and paste job.
Anna
On July 5, 2008 at 7:31 pm
wat happens if u had a lot of previous fights and you think that u r right but only want to apologize so u can be friends again. should u still apologize??
Jamie
On July 14, 2008 at 10:55 am
ok thanks=]
KK
On October 31, 2008 at 10:03 am
Dude, you’re the best!!!
MH
On November 5, 2008 at 8:14 am
I have a friend who is a bit misunderstood and she said I was gossiping and I dont know what to do and I think shes annoyed
MB
On November 12, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I have let out a sectret that should not have been let out about one of my best friends. It was all my fault and I do not know how to fix things with her. she made everyone turn against me and I feel horrible. I just want my friends back.
:( help
On December 19, 2008 at 8:12 pm
she said she hates me and is all mad at me i tried everything but all she could say was go away and then at the end after ive been apologizing to her so many times and different ways i ask her if she forgives me but all she says is i dnt know. i want my best friend back what should i do i need help.
sad right now :(
On February 7, 2009 at 10:03 am
well i told sum thin about my friend i shouldnt have but i am bad under pressure but its not all my fault! my friend wanted e to lie for her which i cant do!! help!
:(:(:(
On February 18, 2009 at 2:18 pm
i miss my bestfriends , i wish we could go back in time!
Stacey
On February 19, 2009 at 9:03 am
for the last couple of weeks i’ve been in trouble at school. my friend wants me to be good and stay out of trouble but i cant.so yesterday i was at the school libary doing work i didnt do and then at gym time i got in trouble and sent to the office. now my friend doesnt talk to me at all, and we always say bye to each other b4 she goes on the bus and she just ignored me. i really need to fix this:(
Hiiiiiiiiii
On March 4, 2009 at 4:06 pm
hey hi. once I proposed to one of my friend. and since then she is not talking to me. I said sorry and even want nothing from her side. I asked for friendship only, but she is not ready even for that. I just want my friend back. If you can help please send me some tips so that I’ll get her back as friend. my email id is himanshu.gour@genpact.com …….thanks
Vanessa
On March 16, 2009 at 11:56 am
I want to give her something but I am like so broke right now.
Unknown
On April 5, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Hi im having a fight with my friendfor something i didnt do. you see my friend has been telling everyone nasty things to me. im angry.
plzplzplz help i need my friend back
desperateneedofanapology.
On April 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm
im trying, i think its working. Thanks, i know now not to rush my friend.
SEVERELY IN NEED OF HELP
On April 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm
HELP i soo need help it has nearly got to the point of a fight(fist) my friend is blaming me for starting a fight and is calling me name (i cant say on this site!) and she has been spreading rumors about me.
IF YOU ARE ON THIS SITE AND IS ABOUT TO WRITE A COMMENT PLEASE HELP ME !! : (
HELPER ALWAYS :P
On April 13, 2009 at 4:04 am
Well the best thing no 17 , is to ignore the rumours and talk to her personally , make her understant that whatever you did , she shudnt be spreading rumours and that if she continues , she’s showing everyone wat a gossiper she is
desperate..
On May 17, 2009 at 12:11 am
wat if my friend is ignoring me? and whenever i try to talk to her she blocks me out and walks away?
Pankaj Singh
On May 21, 2009 at 7:53 am
Hi
once I proposed to one of my friend. and since then she is not talking to me,she has already a boyfriend I said sorry and even want nothing from her side. I asked for friendship only, but she is not ready even for that. I just want my friend back. If you can help please send me some tips so that I’ll get her back as friend. my email id is pankajcse1985@gmail.com
Emily
On May 29, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I feel really bad because I told my friend her darkest secret and she pretended online that she is a different person since there was a sleepover. And now she can’t trust me anymore! I just want my friend back and her friends.
rajeev bhargava
On June 1, 2009 at 8:37 am
this is invaluable advise. thank you so much for it. wonderfully presented.
kirsten
On June 8, 2009 at 10:25 pm
okay me and a friend got in a fight a while ago and i want to be friends again and i just don’t know what to do!
please help!
random helper
On June 24, 2009 at 3:20 pm
ur freinds may be angry with all of you, and i may never see this website again, but i wan to help, this advice is for every one.
if yuor freind is angry and blocking you out, send them a message or email, via msn. dont get into a conversation, this will only fuel your freinds anger if it is too soon and thats the worst thing you can do. try to send them a link to a webpage or you tube, a song or poem or video exspressing how srry you are. as soon as you send the link sign out, dont send them anything else, no messages nothing.
if you can talk to yuor freind face to face, then that would be better, but make sure the first thing you say is that your srry and you can understand why they are angry, and ask them for a chance to explain your point of view, if they refuse, dont push them, ask one of your freinds who is also a freind with him (her) to talk to them for you, but dont let on that you have asked them to do it, this may seem sneaky or underhanded, but trust me, i have one of the most tempermental freinds on the planet, and i manadge to deal with him all the time, i hope this helps, i know its only 2 solutions, but they have worked for me, i hope they work for you. =]
adam
On July 8, 2009 at 10:02 pm
my friend thinks that he is better than me at everything and brags alot!!!!!!!! and i bragged one time and he kicked me out of his house but he appoligized and i know it will happen again so thanx cause now i am prepared
kye
On July 23, 2009 at 8:04 am
my phone went dead one night when my friend needed help. I was not home and so she couldnt get a hold of me. Now she is ticked at me… she wont even text me! And she wont return some of the things i lent her… what should i do?
Dan
On July 25, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I need help im suffering from Caligynephobia(Fear of beautiful girls) which my friend is a beautiful girl i did somthing wrong and i need say sorry without eye contact(SMS message if possible) what should i do…
mlp
On August 16, 2009 at 12:08 am
a few days ago i made fun of a younger friend cause she wet the bed i dident mean to so i just apoglised and now i am her bff
beccca
On September 13, 2009 at 12:32 pm
wow seee
my friend is dating my best friend and she is obsessed over him and she is a bitchh (shes actually rly nice but im jealous) how can i get ovr tht she is datin my bff??? message me at britneyxoxo10@aim.com
thankssssss :]
muchacho
On October 24, 2009 at 4:38 pm
dogs are kool get ur friend 1
Tiffany
On December 6, 2009 at 6:21 pm
this is some good advice.
but i cares about him more than anything & i dont want it to be this way.. and id do anything for him to be my friend again!
wow , but see .. me & my bestfriend ( my bestfriend is a guy ) have been friends ever since we were little kids & well once upon a time we fell hard for eachother.. i mean , i really loved him & couldnt picture myself with anyone but him.. and he really loved me, i could tell by the way he acted & so much more.
well anyways we went through a lot together & no matter what we got through everything.. even through the ups & the downs, but this time we got into a fight because he was flirting with my other bestfriend & shes a girl.. and it kinda got to me , because truthfully im still inlove him. So anyways he tells me he hates me now & dont ever wanna talk , so we dont!
I really need some help.. if you can!
help me
On January 13, 2010 at 10:32 am
what if the guy wont even listen what u hve to say , wenever he sees u he leaves and tells u dont follow me or ill hit u.
Sneh
On February 25, 2010 at 11:44 pm
I proposed a girl and since then she is not talking to me,she now have a boyfriend. I said sorry. I asked for friendship only, but she is not ready even for that. I want her back. If you can help please send me some tips so that I’ll get her back as a friend. my email id is meet_snehpatel@yahoo.com
ask questions ill answer
On March 7, 2010 at 8:05 pm
hey i like this boy and he likes me butt i dont now wat 2 do around him. he told me not 2 tell anyone that he liked me even dough it is obvious. now i dont think he likes me and i think he is falling for my 2 bff now i hate all of them
ppppppppppllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee
HELP ME
cutie puttutie
On March 7, 2010 at 8:13 pm
hey gusys i told every 1 that this person i liked liked me and they freaked. just 1 problem he told me not 2 tell anybody so it turned out bad wen he figured out i told. it was so secret he didnt even tell his best friend. now i think that he dosent like me no more and he might be fallin for my 2 bff now i just sad and i think i hate all of them now
Suzie
On March 10, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Hey guys. I’m, like, really upset cause my Bff got mad at me. She got mad at me cause we were playing Volleyball at recess in school and I didnt choose her to be on my team. I didnt pick her caue she is really, really, really bad at catching, serving, and spiking (she basically can’t play). She keeps calling me bad names that I can’t say on here. I apologized to her on the phone but she just said she had to go and hung up the phone. I hate her now. PLease HElp Me!!!
Suzie
On March 10, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Hey guys. I\’m, like, really upset cause my Bff got mad at me. She got mad at me cause we were playing Volleyball at recess in school and I didnt choose her to be on my team. I didnt pick her caue she is really, really, really bad at catching, serving, and spiking (she basically can\’t play). She keeps calling me bad names that I can\’t say on here. I apologized to her on the phone but she just said she had to go and hung up the phone. I hate her now. PLease HElp Me!!!
Unkown
On March 11, 2010 at 12:29 pm
What should I do if my friend just ignores me and walks away
cuttie puttie
On March 13, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Hey guys. Remember me? totallly differnt story now though. it started like this; this girl at my after school wasnt my friend but now she is. she talks to me alot but im only kind of her friend. that was the day were i had a bunch of homework and she started talking to me. at my after school we have a gym and my friend likes going there. i didnt finish my homework that day so i didnt go to the gym but my friend did. i got left alone with the other girl and when my friend came back from the gym the other girl was next to me and my friend thought i BETRAYED HER. NOW SHE IS REALLY REALLY MAD AT ME AND I DONT NOW WHAT TO DO SO PLEASE HELP ME. i wont give you my gmail account but just post a comment for me on this website THANKYOU AND GOODBYE.
Im sorry m&m's
On March 25, 2010 at 12:54 am
Okay i like my friend and he said he liked me but he told me not to tell but i did anyways cuz im so in love with him and now he wont talk to me and everytime i walk by him at school, he looks at me and shakes his head. He practically hates me now and he wont txt me back. What should i do cuz i miss him so much i just cant go any longer without tlkin to him. Please help he’s really important to me.
meli
On April 13, 2010 at 3:36 pm
It was the easter holidays and me and my friend were always together. when we went back to school she didn’t talk to me or play ( talk not actually play ). Then when we met we had a fight she said that i went of but i said she did and i wasn’t going off someone was nice and asked me to play ( when i say talk i mean chat ). should i say sorry or not
meli
On April 18, 2010 at 9:08 am
im sorry m&m’s this is for u
try and talk to him or get a friend eveytime he goes past you smile say hi say oi love you summit like tat
IsaacAttack13
On April 20, 2010 at 2:27 pm
i accidently said something about my friend’s girlfriend’s dead mother because i was mad at her for making my friends turn against me. she had been rude to me everytime i was near my friend on a social networking site or in person and her friends started to gang up on me and i had just about enough and said a horrible comment about her mum which made her very upset,
I feel terrible after that mistake.
im worried that everyone will hate me.
what should i do?
Lilly
On April 20, 2010 at 6:40 pm
whoa.
um, My former best friend thinks I’m changing just because I’m hanging out with a different person. and because I’ve been hanging out with a new friend, who’s known as the ” popular” girl at school.
My former bff, thinks I’m too “cool” to hang out with her, so she stopped hanging out with me
we used to call each other everyday, now its like the phone Never rings.
so my former bff started hanging out with another girl, who WAS one of my closest friends. so my former bff decided to take her away from me.
Now, she’s making me pissed, and making everyone turn against me including my coolest friend.
now I miss all the times me and my former best friend used to hang out, go to each other houses, talk on the phone
I miss her, and i’m jelous of whoever now is her bestiie, cause to be honest she was the Bestest friend I ever had and i ………………..miss her.
brittany
On May 16, 2010 at 5:51 am
at my school we have like a climbing thing called ‘the cubes’ and there is like a hole in it and one of my friends was sitting in it the other accidentally fell on my friend that was sitting in the hole she didnt like being sat on and cuz im the strongest out of all of us she asked to get her off her and i did but she kept sitting on her purposely then i was kinda fed up so i pushed her with all my strength and guess wat she did? SHE DUG HER SHARP NAILS INTO MY ARM AND MADE MY SKIN HANGING OFF!!!! so i told the teacher about what she did and now she hates me when we went in for lunch the teacher asked me and my friend the story i told her it all and guess wat my friend said?? ‘I only grabbed her arm’ but the teacher didnt belive her. so she has been hating me for 3 days now and we r going on a trip on monday and me and my best friend was going to go in her cabin now we cant and i feel really bad cuz my bff cant go in now i need a way to apologize before everyone decides whos cabin we r going in.
Friendship can hurt
On May 18, 2010 at 7:57 pm
My friend and I have been best friends for 3 years. She has always stuck up for me and vis versa. Two days in a row she didn’t sit with me at lunch she sat all sad and alone at a different table. I was worried and asked her multiple times to come sit with me so that i could cheer her up. But no. She and this other girl got all mad and up in my grill. They yelled at me..
Anyways now I just try not to think about her and she keeps trying to talk to me. I want to apologize but I am just a stubborn person and plus I have 3 new bff’s. Should I suck it up and apologize, or move on with my life?
Also to Brittany, tell your friend that you didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. Say your sorry that you pushed her and tell her you were getting irritated by her sitting on your other friend. Mention nicely that your cut from her on your arm does hurt but you still want to be friends. If she doesn’t take your apology after that then I don’t know what to tell you.
sosaddddd
On May 20, 2010 at 7:05 pm
i really need my friend back. i try to say i’m sorrry to her and i keep thinking that i will but whenever i try to say something, she has this REALLY cold face so i’m scared. its so hard. once i did kind of apologize but kinda rushed so it didn’t work. i also gave her a present to make it up but she didnt accept it. becuase of her cold face, i cant say sorry in person so i want to do with my phone. at night, when she isn’t hanging out with anyone hopefully, im gonna just txt her saying im sorry and i want to be friends again. should i do that? i totally miss our time together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ashley
On May 29, 2010 at 10:25 am
I have a friend and we had a fight two days ago, I thought she was ignoring me so I started getting upset. Then now she thinks I’m ignoring her. She tried to apologise but I was too stubborn to accept it. Then yesterday I really regretted it and called her to apologise. I called her house phone because she doesn’t pick up her handphone, but her mother answered and told me off for a whole hour. Her mum says that she wants me to clear off and that i’m affecting my friends health, grades, and her whole family. Her mum blames me for everything and I know it’s my fault somehow. My friend doesn’t know what he did wrong and thing is, I’m not really sure what I did wrong either.
Itsprobably just a really big issue of miscommunication but her mum forbade me to contact her, so we cant talk it out. We were going to have a sleepover on Wednesday but her mum cancelled it. I really don’t know what to do now, she’s my eat friend and I don’t want to lose her. The school hold just started and I dont want to spend the next few weeks like this.
Please help me, tell me what to do. I’m not really expecting an answer, but really hoping for one.
Ashley
On May 29, 2010 at 10:29 am
*she
*best
*hols
so many typos! :X sorry I’m using my phone to type this out.
Ashley
On May 29, 2010 at 10:54 am
To friendship can hurt;
definitely apologise. If you don’t, you’ll really regret it trust me. Try to find out what’s the problem and talk it out.
To sosadd;
yeah do that. but if she doesn’t reply or pick up, then you may want to write her a note. I don’t know, if you’re shy like me that should work.
The stories here are so sad. I hope all the problems here get worked out. :’(
Jezabel
On June 29, 2010 at 12:48 pm
I did something to my friend that I shouldn’t have done…and I knew from the beginning that I was wrong but I was just too angry to deal with it…now 4 months later…I’m trying to find a way to apologize to her but I guess I’m afraid that not only will I be rejected but that my apology will be thrown back into my face.
See the thing I did was so stupid of me!!
My friend and I got into a heated argument over something so stupid…and to be honest she was the first to make it into something bigger than what it was. I asked her a simple question as to why she is always mentioning about chicks talking s-h-i-t about her and how they have no life and making her popular because they have her on their minds…it just makes it seem like she cares more about what they think than they really do…so she went off on me claiming that it was lyrics to a song but I have a hard time believing that since she’s always posting comments like that on her page…
So because of that argument (which I apologized for), she deleted me off of her friends list and made it known that our friendship was over…so I got really angry, that after 5 years being friends she would just throw our friendship out the window over a stupid argument…
Due to my anger toward her I implied to her boyfriend that she was hiding a big secret that could change the way he feels about her
Now I didn’t say what the secret was I just said that there was a secret…which is the reason why I want to apologize to her
I shouldn’t even had said that there was a secret…and because of that I can’t seem to even imagine her accepting my apology…
I’m not saying I want to be friends again I just want her to forgive me so that I can move on from this…I learned my lesson and now I value my friendships and the secrets that come with them..
Please if anyone can help me get through this I would really appreciate it…you can e-mail me at miizzjezz@gmail.com
Charlotte
On October 11, 2010 at 8:36 pm
what if she don\’t want to see me? what should i do?
joey
On November 11, 2010 at 10:46 pm
awesome friend i had she was the world to me but then after i asked her out she flipped out cause my old friend said i talked shit about her and everything so she turned against me and told her friends about it and now they dont even say hi to me anymore
please help me find a way to make up with her please?
Jilly
On December 26, 2010 at 12:29 pm
so me and my bestfriend are alright we arnt fighting she still says im her bestfriend but she lives with her bf and his mum just moved in with them anyways we dont hang out as much anymore because he always wants her home when he finishes work and stuff like that and i have a feeling he is jealous i dont want to split them up or anything but i have other friend to hang out with but its not the same i miss her so much ! i think its only because we used to hang out seriously like every day and she would stay over all the time and i would stay at hers but now she cant stay over at all ! .. so what can i do ?? am i just over reacting or should i do something about it ??
thedude
On January 12, 2011 at 8:17 pm
@ Jilly
hey, a 3 sum might help? just go over his’ if she wont go to your house.
Valerie
On January 23, 2011 at 1:53 pm
that helped me a little bit thanks
Easter
On January 24, 2011 at 10:04 am
once me n my friend had a fight over something stupid .after then i realize it was all my fault i had play a prank on her n i am terribly sorry for what i’ve done im really worried .Plz help
Easter
On January 24, 2011 at 10:05 am
once me n my friend had a fight over something stupid .after then i realize it was all my fault i had play a prank on her n i am terribly sorry for what i\’ve done im really worried .Plz help
anomomys
On March 25, 2011 at 11:00 pm
How do i apologize for expirementing with a bong?
Trisha
On July 29, 2011 at 9:07 am
I have a friend who i said i had her back, and i do, and she wanted me to find out the situation between her and a guy she really likes. then i found out some really good news, but i wanted her to be surprised by it, but i accidentally said the “i know something but cant tell you”… and shes really mad at me…i feel awful for saying that… all i wanted was her to be surprised… i dunno what to do..
whoa
On August 13, 2011 at 3:07 am
My ex best friend of over 10 years just ended our friendship about 4 days ago. I told her I didn’t wanna be friends with someone who always asks for advice but never ever takes it. Here’s why: my EF (ex friend) started liking this guy and at first he seemed cool. My EF became obsessed with him very quickly. She just would not shutup about how great she THINKS he is. Well, two weeks before I de friended her, she loaned the guy 500 bucks cuz he was broke and couldn’t pay his bills or take care of his kid, not to mention he was getting evicted from his apartment. Apparently the guy swore on his kids life that he would pay her back in exactly 14 days, but before those two weeks were up, he asked her for 1500 more dollars. Ok so, I guess my point is that I was forced to cut my EF out of my life because she is letting this guy use her for a piece of ass and money and she is knowingly letting this crap happen but doesn’t seem to care cuz she is so darn whipped on him. This guy lied to her, I even PROVED he was a total loser, and she still was completely convinced he was a trustworthy person even though he broke his word to her and made a bunch of stupid excuses. I told her I simply cannot be friends with her for defending this guys actions and I won’t be around when he kicks her ass to the curb and she’s left crying about it. She knows I’m right but just acts like I have no grounds for cutting her off. She chose his bullshit lies over my awesome advice, which again, I WAS RIGHT ABOUT! I told her to call me when she gets her self respect and dignity back. I don’t like her anymore but she won’t leave me alone! She begs and begs me everyday. I can’t take it anymore, she is so annoying.
Terry
On September 5, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I apologized to a friend for getting mad because he was gossiping behind my back. I just left him so he probably got mad at that. I apologized eventually down the road ( I guess I waited too long), and he never forgave me. He blamed everything on me and said some pretty nasty un-true things. Most of all, he didn’t say he was sorry for causing everything in the first place. Most people tell me he is very immature and unforgiving so he was a lost cause in the first place. I guess me walking away in the beginning was justified. Well, he’s in God’s possession now because I apologized for something I didn’t start and he low-blows me. Ain’t gonna get poisoned again by him.
Randy
On October 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm
I have lost my bestest best friend today. I really wants him back in my arms again. we’ve been bestest best friends every since we was babies. I love him so very very much i need help please help me get him bcak please
Rolandus
On October 9, 2011 at 5:04 pm
I have a best friend i really need some help getting her back. we’ve been best friend’s for 4 years in i really miss her a lot. realy need some help she is the best her name is Shy’ Shawna Smith. I love her so very much please help me get her back as my best friend again please.
bex
On October 24, 2011 at 3:56 am
Me and my best friend fell out about 18months ago and i really miss him. Hes my ex’s twin but we were friends before i started to date his brother. We have been friends for about 10years and he got married about 3years ago, his wife always thort ther was more than a friendship going on between us but we have only ever been friends, this was making arguments for him and ther was other things flyin around that we ended up having a heated phone conversation and i told him to f**k off it doesn’t matter anymore! But believe he was about to tell me a simula thing. We have not spoke since this day and i deeply miss him and wish the phone call had never happened, he was like my brother and i hate how its become i jus wish we could be friends again