The Difference Between Good and Toxic Friends
by How to determine if your friends are good for you. It also helps you to be able to decide if your friends build you up or pull you down.
There is a saying that goes like this: “It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you are living with turkeys.” This is a good description of the effect that friendships can have on a life. A friend can either help you soar to new heights or hold you down. Those who help you fly are good friends. Good here means good for you and is not an expression of the closeness of the relationship. If a friend keeps you from reaching your potential, it is a toxic friend.
The problem is being able to tell the difference between friends that are good for you and those that are not. It is not always easy to distinguish one from the other early in the friendship. Later in the friendship, it can be hard to let go of a toxic friend because affection will develop. It is important to decide as soon as possible which type of friend you have made and keep the good friend and lose the toxic one. No system can furnish you a perfect way to tell a toxic friend, but there are some signs to look for when making a new friend.
A toxic friend will highlight your negatives more than your positives.
If you make friends with someone who is always telling you how dumb or stupid you are, they are likely to be toxic. The same can be said for someone who belittles you in public. If you are overweight, for example, a friend who frequently points out how fat you are in front of friends and others will almost always be toxic in the long run. This is the way a toxic friend establishes that they are better than you are. If they can make you believe you are less, it will make them seem like more.
Someone who has a history of being unloyal to their other friends is probably toxic.
Toxic friends like to look out for number one. Because of this, they will embrace others more than you when they believe it serves them best to do so. If they have done a sufficient job of eroding your self-esteem, you will still follow them while believing that you deserve such inferior treatment.
People who become toxic friends often will lead you into dangerous or illegal activities.
A toxic friend will encourage you to drink too much or experiment with drugs. The same type of friend may ask you to help them in a fight. They may invite you to assist them in committing a crime. Some extreme cases of toxic friends will physically abuse you and expect you to take it because it is what you deserve.
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