The Dreaded B-word: Break-Ups

The Break-up was the hardest thing I ever had to endure in my life (so far), and the experience made me look at myself and my life in a whole new way. The first thing that I realized is that I changed in order to make someone else happy and that wasn’t a good thing. In a relationship you should be who you are and the other person should accept you and love you, and X didn’t respect the REAL me because I kept her hidden to pacify him and make a false relationship real.

I also allowed myself to stay silent when things were “fishy” and blatant before my eyes, but I deluded myself and never questioned things by suppressing and continuing to give myself false hope of a relationship that wasn’t totally built on trust on both ends.  In the end of it all, to me I felt used and unsure of anything. I even felt suicidal because I didn’t have an identity outside of the relationship for so long that to be without it was actually scary. How many women have been in the same situation?

The B-word as I refer to it now was just harrowing but turned into the best thing for me. I had to face myself and question my own role in life, who I truly was and now I know through personal growth outside of what I generally knew.  I read books, take meditation classes and journal my feelings. Getting feelings out on paper or in an online blog is one of the best ways to deal with the pain.

There is hope after the storm that is the dreaded B-word, but it’s never easy to see right off the bat.  They say it takes half the time of the relationship you were previously in to get over it in turn, but it depends. It feels like an eternity and the road to get over the pain is not easy, I know firsthand.

But breaking-up in the end was the best thing that ever happened. I met a great guy who sees the real me and appreciates it and understand myself more than ever. No longer do I hold back doubt, if something is wrong I can express it to my boyfriend and talk about things. He engages me to talk and not be “a trophy girlfriend” as I once was. Now when I look in the mirror I see someone happy and content, more sure of herself and in love for the very first time.

Yeah, breakups are a curse.. and a blessing.