The Ex Factor
Antonia Samson, 25, studies mathematics at college in Leeds. She’s been with Patrick Welles, 27, a computer programmer, for 14 months. As she trusts him implicitly, she has no worries whatsoever about him regularly seeing his ex-girlfriend Ronni for a drink. As a maths student, she can easily work out that ex plus wine doesn’t have to equal bed. Thirty-one-year-old Hannah Seymour, on the other hand, can see no reason for her man to stay in touch with his ex. In fact, if London-based web site designer Hannah discovered that her soul-mate Harry Pilkington, 27, was seeing his ex, she’d soon give him the boot. Here, both women tell their stories.
It’s seven o’clock and 25-year-old Antonia Samson is settling down with her boyfriend Patrick for a quiet night in. Suddenly, the telephone rings and Antonia reaches across to answer it.
“Patrick, it’s for you,” she smiles, handing him the receiver. “It’s Ronni.”
Nothing strange about that scenario – until you consider the fact that Ronni is, in fact, Patrick’s ex-girlfriend. And that, because Ronni is in town, Patrick decides to cancel his night in with Antonia and go and meet Ronni. Many women would find this unacceptable, but Antonia thinks it’s just fine.
“I’m not worried about Patrick’s relationship with Ronni,” she says. “He’s very loyal and I trust him completely. And, besides, Ronni has a boyfriend…”
That’s not a good enough reason for some of her friends however…
“My friends think it’s odd; some of them have said that they wouldn’t be so cool about it. They’re really suspicious – always asking me if I’m sure that nothing’s going on.”
But that’s just it – Antonia is certain that there’s nothing romantic or sexual between her man and his ex. And that’s why she doesn’t feel jealous. “It’s not that I’m not the jealous sort,” she explains. “I mean, I don’t like the idea of other girls flirting with Patrick – but Ronni doesn’t make me feel that way. The only reason I’d be jealous of her is because she’s so pretty and has loads of nice clothes, but that’s something separate and nothing to do with her friendship with Patrick. Their romance is a thing of the past and the fact that they’re still good friends is a good thing as far as I can see.”
Antonia also believes that she shouldn’t dictate to Patrick about who he can and can’t have as a friend.
“Patrick was friendly with Ronni when I met him. What right have I got to come along and tell him to end that friendship?”
She believes there are definite advantages to the way things are. “I like the fact he’s got a female friend,” she says. “That way, he can get another female point of view on things. She’s quite sisterly and protective towards him and advises him on his problems. Very occasionally, I feel a bit insecure, but that’s only if me and Patrick have had a row and I know he’s talking to her about it. My main worry is that she only really gets one side of the story and that she’ll see me in a bad light. But she never seems to hold anything against me, so it’s my problem really.”
Liked it
