The Give and Take of Love
by Many of us need to recalibrate our expectations of a long-term partner.
We’re all carrying around a lot of misconceptions about what is man and what is woman. Many of us may even need to recalibrate our expectations of a long-term partner. Somehow we’ve got to learn to overcome our partner’s personal flaws as well as our own. Falling in love is not the same as living with love. We can’t make others love us. We can’t demand love. We can live with give and take of material possessions, of give and take of money, sex and praise. Living without love is denying ourselves the sole reason for being on this planet. The famous Snoop Dog put it poetically when he said, “Sometimes if you’re lucky, someone comes into your life who’ll take up a place in your heart that no one else can fill, someone who’s tighter than a twin, more with you than your own shadow, who gets deeper under your skin than your own blood and bones.”
Some of us for no apparent reason never make a serious commitment to anything including a partner. They throw around the word “love” and laugh when confronted. This is demeaning to those of us who believe we are loved. Ultimately, we become emotionally insecure and jealous. Jealousy is that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation that plays havoc with our mind and bodies threatening you to your very core. Some of us may already feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent. Contrary to popular belief, says Scott Haltzman, M.D., co-author of the Secrets of Happily Married Women, say, “Although it seems counter-intuitive, insisting on eye contact while hashing out an issue can actually make the problem worse.” Both the genders need to remember, ”A horse can’t pull his load when kicking or kick when pulling his load.” And Bill Cosby, the comedian says, “Through humor you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers; and once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
A little flirting hurts no one. Giving each other room to be special in the eyes of others is a gift to your partner. Somewhere on a gut level, we all want to celebrate our ups and survive our downs in the eyes of others. When living peacefully we live with purpose and praise in all the ways that matter. Henry David Thoreau said, “Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams. It is almost as if the world comes to meet us when we truly follow our inner voices. Sources of help and support, new opportunities, and ideas seem to fall into place when we trust in the process, act with a courageous heart, and travel in the direction of our dreams.” It is a human flaw to want to look good in the eyes of others. Being secure in the give and take of love builds good self-esteem; and, self-worth builds good net worth.
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