Ah, love. My unrelenting solitude and lack of purpose lately have inspired a lot of contemplation on the subject. While I usually try to inspire debate and reform with my writing, it is not healthy to be constantly dwelling upon the imperfections that haunt us. So I thought it was time to share some of the imperfections that make us beautiful. The most precious of which, in my opinion, is love.

We are conceived as complete beings. While inside the womb we know naught but contentment. But after nine short months we are torn from that happy existence and spat unceremoniously into the real world. From that moment on we are damaged. Imperfect. Incomplete. The shock of being taken from the only life we have ever known puts a chip into our existence that cannot be repaired. And yet, even in the earliest moments of conception, we all respond differently. Some of us cry, some of us do not. Some of us do not come willingly. And an unfortunate few do not survive the transition. Regardless of the results, we are all affected differently.

Imagine your being as a plate. You can call it your soul, your sentience, whatever you wish. For now its a plate. Birth is the first chip in that plate, bringing about the imperfections that make us human. But that is obviously not the only hardship we endure. As life goes on, we come across more and more challenges. Every obstacle we endure puts another chip in the plate.  Once enough irregularities have been made on our respective surfaces, our personalities begin to take shape. And it is our personalities that determine our possible compatibility.

Imagine that you enjoyed a completely perfect life. One free of any hardship… not one moment of pain, or loss, or longing. If we led perfect lives, our plates would be complete. Without incongruities, you could not merge two plates together to become one. Nor would you have any need to. If you are a perfect being, why would you seek perfection elsewhere?

Now that I’ve laid the foundation I can get to the real meat of this subject. People often look for what they consider to be the perfect mate. A plate which perfectly fits their own. A chance to achieve perfection through someone else. It’s a great concept, but it just doesn’t work in the real world.

We are imperfect from the moment we first draw breath. We are created entirely of hardship and pain. So ironically, when we don’t have a new challenge to deal with, when we can’t find anything wrong with our lives at that moment, what happens? We get bored. The better off we are, the more bored we become. This is why idyllic relationships fail.

We are so used to suffering and unwanted sacrifice that we cannot live without them! So unconsciously we look for a new challenge. Sometimes we look for a new person to connect with. Sometimes we try to chip the person we’ve already merged with. These actions are rarely dictated by the conscious mind, but that doesn’t usually matter to the person damaged in the exchange. Sure, you’re looking for a new challenge (and he/she probably is too) but you no longer find any worthwhile differences in each other. If your lover is perfect, you can’t connect with them, and they wouldn’t really be able to connect with you. If they’re everything you want them to be, they’re probably too much like you to fit properly.

99% of us don’t realize that we don’t really want the perfect person for us. This is why people that are so fundamentally different get along so well. You need to be similar enough that you can connect, but incongruous enough that you have hardship to work through. If struggle defines our being, then nothing can bring two people together more effectively than striving towards a common goal. Especially if that goal is each other.

So the next time you feel your heart leap at th sight of someone, take a chance. Yeah, there are going to be obstacles to overcome. Sure, there will be things you don’t like about them. And to top it all off, there’s a better than average chance that nothing meaningful will develop anyway. But anything worth having is worth working for. When it comes to love? I would personally spend every day of the rest of my life looking for the right person, even if I could only experience that feeling for one day.