The Lover Coaster

There comes a time in almost every relationship where things get a little like a roller coaster. You don’t really know what’s going on, but it’s still kind of a blast. You still have those love feelings, but now the relationship seems anything but loving. I have totally been there.

This article actually comes from a frustrated reader of mine. Here is her posting.

#15 by Coleen, Jun 4, 2008

“k heres the problem…i do love my boyfriend but when he isn’t around i want him around but when he is around i don’t want him around. so yeah none of this info helps me at all!!!!! so get a dang clue!”

By the way Coleen, I got the clue. I hope that this is the article for you.

Relationships are not merely experiences in your life that should just happen. You should be active and proactive in your relationships. Make things happen as well as be okay with what is happening and work with the relationship from there. Yes, I said the dreadful word “work.” I know that you thought that relationships should be a “free-for-all,” but not in the least bit.

A Little Bit Much?

I am asking you to take consideration of your relationship with your love. I am asking you to focus on your relationship with your love. I am asking you to love your relationship with your love. These are not unfair questions. They are very fair. Why be in a relationship with someone if you don’t want to consider, focus on and love them?

So Are You Ready for Love Works 101?

The way Coleen feels about her boyfriend is a classic feeling in relationships. When they are gone you want them there. When they are there, then they are getting on your nerves. I feel this feeling about my boyfriend very often, on both ends of that spectrum.

Be Yourself

I am going to give you some advice that is not often given in dealing with relationships with others. But it most certainly will help you in your relationships. Be yourself. Don’t get caught up in how you should act or what you should be doing. Free yourself and accept yourself for the way you are. Express your feelings (now, I would use some tact here) and let your lover know what’s on your mind.

What does this have to do with not wanting your lover around sometimes? Often times when we do not want someone else around we are not accepting some of their attributes. More often than not we are not accepting of their attributes because we feel like we are holding back, so why shouldn’t they hold back, too. So, again I say be yourself, then you can accept your mate.