The Mystery of Intimacy (it’s Not ALL About Sex)
by At the center of everyone’s need to be loved is the need to be loved for who and what we really are. Your unique qualities, especially the ones that vary from your partner, and what they bring to your relationship, are most important of all. This article by Michele Cameron Drew provides an in-depth look at what intimacy is and how to develop more of it in your relationship.
For centuries artists, writers, musicians, and poets have all tried to create the ultimate picture of intimacy to no avail. It’s mystery lies within the human heart and spirit, the connection between the two individuals, the experiences they share, and how they interpret them to each other. Falling in love is easy, achieving true intimacy and staying in love is the difficult part.
The term intimacy comes from the Latin word initmus, which means the most private, most personal of all relationships. It refers to a special closeness between two people who know each other well, understand each others’ needs and have made a commitment to continuously care for each other on the deepest and most personal levels.
How Webster defines intimate:
intimate (in’.ta.mat) a. innermost; familiar; closely-related; close; n. an intimate friend; intimacy n. the state of being intimate; sexual relations.
At the center of everyone’s need to be loved is the need to be loved for who and what we really are. Your unique qualities, especially the ones that vary from your partner, and what they bring to your relationship, are most important of all.
First love thyself. If you don’t love the person that you are, it is not possible to truly love another. Never put yourself or your lover first. Selfishness or self-sacrifice will get you nowhere.
Many people tend to be constantly looking for the perfect person rather than learning to live and love those right here in the real world. Fantasies are nice, but real love is at the heart of the matter. That perfect person will probably only exist in the mind of the person who contrives them in a fantasy. Rejecting the differences between fantasy and reality breaks the possibility of intimate connection with another, because you subconsciously love the fantasy and break away from the reality.
I have previously said “Never ever go away mad”. This doesn’t mean continue fighting. What it means is stop fighting, break the argument. And men, if you have to take a time out, do it by first releasing yourself from the fight, and then excusing yourself respectfully. Reassuring a woman that you’ll be back is probably a good choice at this point.
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Post CommentJasin
On November 30, 2008 at 4:01 am
“Intimacy” gods greatest gift.
Good article.
Debra.
On November 30, 2008 at 4:28 am
Intimacy means all things shared, thoughts, feelings, sorrows, bitterness, heartache, joyful and so on and so on. A pleasantly insightful piece on the description of intimacy. God bless, Michele.
R J Grant
On November 30, 2008 at 9:18 am
I think your article is the best I have ever read on the subject.
The definition of intimacy includes “friend”. My personal opinion is that if your not friends the relationship can’t last. Friends share life in ways lovers alone cannot.
Grant
The Quail
On November 30, 2008 at 9:56 am
Great article are not made, they are created. Well done my friend.
Lauren Axelrod
On November 30, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Wonderful tips and informative word. Intimacy is so much more that basic emotions, it is the environment in which you share and is it conducive for a healthy relationship.
Joie Schmidt
On November 30, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Beautiful, thoughtful article – I am a big believer that it is more about personality than anything else, as to what a person needs – for example, I have dated men who need empathy, etc – keep up the nice work!
Blessings.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.
Peter Cimino
On November 30, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Wow. What an amazing article. Truly well done and a joy to read. Great topic too.
lindalulu
On November 30, 2008 at 6:48 pm
What a wonderful article, intimacy and friendship are defiantly advised for a lasting relationship.
BC Doan
On December 1, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I like the title, especially “It’s not all about sex” because it defines and clarifies the word “intimacy” right on the spot.
Very insightful article!
Michele Cameron Drew
On December 3, 2008 at 12:10 am
Thanks everybody for all your lovely comments.
-M