The Myths and Truths of Online Dating
by Ten years ago the very notion of finding love on the web was ludicrous, even taboo. Today it is almost status quo. With more than eight hundred dating sites now on the internet, people who have trouble finding love in the ‘real’ world have more options than ever when it comes to online dating. However, for loverlorn romantics searching for love online the web can be a difficult and cumbersome path to navigate. But there is a small group of people, a clique if you will, who diligently use the internet as their primary mode for, not only social networking, but for finding meaningful long-term relationships.
After interviewing several of them (who wish to remain anonymous) here are some points to keep in mind the next time you’re searching for love online.
Fact: You must know yourself before you can begin to know others
The reason many dating sites provide space for a description is to give a person the opportunity to paint themselves in the most beautiful light. A detailed, precise (and hopefully truthful) description of yourself builds honesty and authenticity to the people viewing your profile.
Conversely, if a person’s profile description is otherwise short, confusing, unclear, or even empty, it’s a clear signal they are not taking the website seriously. The same goes for spelling or grammatical errors found in the description. It shows that a person doesn’t take the prospect of searching for love seriously but rather sees online dating as a passing fancy.
Fact: Beauty is really only skin deep when you’re online
Internet dating sites largely rely on the premise of ‘love at first sight’. Objectively speaking, when it comes to online dating a person bases their first impressions on one another through a few physical indicators, a limited description, and a few profile pictures (if they decide to post a picture at all) without even speaking before contact.
So take the following into consideration the next time you’re prowling profiles on the internet. Firstly, if a picture of a guy/girl is too good to be true than it probably is. I’m amazed at how many people simply copy their profile pictures with some glamour shots that can easily be found on Google image search. Not to discourage the reader from online dating, but be aware that some profiles are put there by the site owners to attract new paying members.
Here are some questions to ask yourself before contacting someone via email:
- How many photos are there in the profile?
- Is the person in the profile smiling or is their expression rather deadpan?
- Are there friends in the picture(s)?
- Are the pictures taken indoors in front of the computer or are they outdoors during physical activity?
Fact: When it comes to looking for love online, what isn’t being said is just as important as what is being said
If I have to stress one thing when it comes to searching for love online it is to get real good at learning how to read subtext. What is ‘subtext’? Subtext is what isn’t being said as opposed to what is being said.
Here are some examples of subtext:
- It is very likely that a single parent or mature adult will probably want a long-term relationship rather than a simple intimate encounter.
- It is also probably safe to say that a person who is athletic, will probably enjoy physical activities and the outdoors more so than the average person.
- What is the language used in the description section. Is it educated, slang, or casual in its tone?
These are just a few broad indicators but you get the idea. Just remember, if you take everything written on a person’s profile for face value you may be doing yourself a disservice in the long run. When it comes to internet dating, it is sometimes better to use your head rather than just your heart.
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