The One I Love

As a kid growing up I had a lot to learn as much as anyone did when they are in their teens. Every person has the desire to be loved or to know what is like to be loved. I believe that there is every one person who has the deepest need. Love is the most amazing, beautiful thing someone could learn to experience. You feel like you have butterflies in your stomach fluttering around, or going up a huge hill and fast down the other side.

Real love is more than a beautiful feeling, it’s a commitment. Its not something that happens over night or within a matter of a couple weeks. It takes time. Time to know that person very well. To know what he or she thinks, what he or she likes to do, how you just feel about that person, you think about them all the time, you hang-out, your happy and satisfied of who they are, what they look like, you learn that in a relationship looks is not everything just a bonus and how you met. Don’t expect to change that someone because that’s who they are. What you see is what you get! In a relationship or not in a relationship your feelings will follow the choice of your will. Your heart chooses for you. It knows what it is doing most of the time therefore that is why people say follow your heart and because your heart is followed by how you feel.

I believe how you feel comes from the heart and the soul. There is always something to believe in and someone to receive. When there is not and you feel that you are all alone it eats at your heart. You feel the only escape is death. Another thing about love is the feeling of being rejected from it or hurt from it. There is always a wrong with a good and sometimes I guess you are just gifted and lucky. Some things are forever and some were just meant to stay with you in your heart and mind. Knowing you love someone and that one doesn’t love you back or show any affection is really hurtful. You feel alone, helpless, walk away with your head down but always seemed to try and go back and make something of it. I was always told the wait could be worth it and that is what I told my love for a long time. I was confused. Was I in love? Am I right for him? How do I show him that I love him? My love is my best friend. He is very kind, gentle, handsome, very smart and works hard for what he has and what he wants. He tries his best to make people happy, and he’d do anything for someone to make them happier or they’re life a little bit easier. He was always looking out for others before himself. He had a hard time saying “No”. I always admired him for just being there. He was there everyday and whenever I needed him or something he would be there. We’d hang out at work and always talk when no one else wanted to talk to me. He was the only thing that was stable in my work life. I guess I took advantage of that. He stayed by my side no matter what happened to me in the past, no matter how wrong I was and he agreed or pushed it to the side. He put up with a lot for me and the things other people pulled or said. I love him more than anything in the world. He was the last person I would ever hurt in this whole world. I know how it feels to be hurt and I didn’t want him feeling that hurt that I experienced so many times. He never hurt me in any way, shape or form, he never did anything I didn’t want to do and never did he force me to do something either. Now that is a man. For that and for so much that he did for me and he waited for so long I should of told him how much I loved him and was scared to show it or didn’t know how. I should of never said the things I said or did some of the things I did because the fact that he was a man, he was a man of heart, he should have not been hurt by me or by the one he loved and spent all his time with. He deserves the world and all what is good in it if someone can give it to him. If I could I would take back a lot of what I said and did to him to hurt him. I felt like he deserved better. Better than me. How could he fall for someone like me. I never showed him any affection or my love for him I just shoved it aside and acted like I didn’t care. I didn’t know if I could be everything he wanted. I didn’t know how to love him like he wanted me to. I knew he loved me. He didn’t tell me till it was to late. But I never told him either. I didn’t tell him a lot of things that was important that he should have known. Maybe he would of told me there is no one in this world that I love or want but you no matter what you have done or been through because that doesn’t matter. He was there to love me and help me but the more I loved him and more we got close the more I pushed him further away not realizing how much I have hurt him. How could I be so stupid? I love him so why couldn’t I just be with him? Tell him everything and just have him tell me it will be ok, I love him and I want to give myself to him but it is too late. So the next time you hear someone say wait until you are sure that you love someone NO don’t wait. Live your life to fullest. Don’t be shy or hold anything back. Tell that person how you feel and even if your not for sure if your in love or not tell them this is what I feel and I am not for sure if leads to fact that I love you. That way the other person knows where they stand, and you won’t miss out on anything if there is something or love in the air. Be risky if you have to live your life. Don’t waste time asking yourself or others questions. Follow your heart. My love is my love forever. He will always be a big part of my life. Always there in my mind, heart and soul. I know I hurt him but I also know that he forgives me. You can forgive anyone rather its the person you love but its hard to forget!