The Pressures of Moving in Together

In the past three weeks four of my friends have split up with their partners. All of whom had just recently moved in with each other. Just why has this happened? All of them were in very stable relationships, and one couple had been dating since my friend was 16 (she’s 21 now).

            About four months ago, I moved in with my boyfriend for the first time and can honestly say it was one of the weirdest experiences I’d gone through. We suddenly went from seeing each other fairly often, to seeing each other every day.

            I suppose the weirdest thing was meal times. I’d gotten used to making what I fancied when I fancied it. My favourite lazy dish is Tuna Pasta Bake, but my boyfriend doesn’t like tuna so I can’t eat it whenever I want anymore. Similarly, my boyfriend loves trifle, I don’t. It may seem like petty things, but they do add up.

            The next problem we faced, but possibly the most important was that of possessions. Our room is fairly big, but because we share a house with other people we need to keep al our stuff in our room. But where? I like to have pictures of family and friends on the walls; he likes to have posters of bands I don’t like.  And then there was the dilemma of where to put things, was it right to put my bookcase by the bed, and put his amps by the door? We both had our reasons for wanting them by the bed, but instead of telling each other we kept them to our selves.

            The other main problem I found was that my bedroom was his bedroom too. I had just as much right to read in bed when he wanted to sleep, as he had to play guitar when I wanted to watch TV.  Before we moved in, if we argued one of use would go home, the separation would give us the time to think and after a few hours we’d be talking again. But when you live together, you have to face each other all the time. It’s much harder to get a break from one and other. I think had we been unemployed or students when we moved in, we would have had to have seen each other more and I think we possibly would have split up.

            In conclusion, there’s an odd paradox about moving in with your partner; if you move in you have to remember to spend time with out your partner.