The Real Lost In Temptation 4
Cyber-confusion or misplaced submissions…I screwed up I guess…but still wanted you to have a nice wrap-up of the very first words I have to share on the subject of fidelity and how difficult it is….
WHY NOT TO RISK HEARTH OR CO-OP
Some input/output weirdness—Lost in Temptation 4 as it appeared this morning was simply the first installment. Forgive us! The cyberlife is a beautiful thing until it doesn’t work. If this has shown up somewhere else, forgive me for that! Just wanted to close the door – for a day or two — on a topic where the door sticks…and always will.
After my close friend Katharine (who’s a heavyweight brainstar, psychotherapist and all-around accomplished woman of medicine) read Part II in my series (reflecting what’s become a daily conversation with my friends)she coughed the “ahem” phlegm (sorry, but it rhymed) and said, “Sophie since New Hampshire, I’ve never seen you make a worse take on any subject.” (She is proud of our Dartmouth degrees and rarely is seen without a green and white anything.)
Sorry for the digression. She is a shrink (I am a lowly writer who makes nice-enough $ scribing in places other than this webpage, just so you don’t think this is my Mt. Everest…)
To the point: Lost in Temptation III addresses intimacy and why the lack of it wrecks marriage, every marriage, that dissolves into a pile of dust. This last infusion of thought and word will speak to why “sitting on the fence” is in itself a rotten place to be. As if anyone needed me to say so…
No sex, no flirtation, no smiles, no eyeliner, a few (or more) extra pounds, the take-out stress of a difficult job and/or boss, the property taxation without representation…life after children enter it—the joys and challenges – all combine to take their collective toll. You’re left with emptiness and no sex.
Why bother?
Vows?
Unless you’re very devout, that’s out the window.
Guilt?
It dissipates between sighs under white hotel sheets.
And Dan, if you happen to read this, according to my pals, all fairly beautiful, fit 40something urban and suburbanite working moms, the relationships they get into with men older and younger, seeking sexual satisfaction only, seem to offer sexual satisfaction for the women ONLY AT THE RELATIONSHIP’S starts. BDSM, threesomes, acting out all the men’s fantasies (complete with fedora and heels and raincoat) are just the beginning. Write me and I’ll give you more details… Suffice it to say, Dan, that you’re a rare man, indeed, if you think of orgasms and women in the same sentence.
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