The Thumb: A Comprehensive Guide to Flirting with Women Successfully

There is a new woman in our office. A co-worker, a shimmering human capital person of the female type. This, in itself, it is not unusual, but only last week I attended a course on flirting with women successfully. Since the plastic box that sits on my desk has now decided to throw a hissy-fit and I am for the next half an hour or so unable to do any constructive work, or at least pretend to do so while sending personal e-mails, and as I have seen my new co-worker on the way to the coffee room, I have decided to put my course to good effect. Hey, you pay for these things, you have to see if they work.

Tip One: Act as if you have a type A personality

The supremely confident guy that was giving the course gave us five tips for our money. Correct practice and application of these secret techniques will, for sure, he told us turn us from wimps in to hunters of women. I looked at the other guy in the class, sorry seminar, to see what he was doing. He was hurriedly scribbling notes, so I decided to do the same.

The first secret is to behave like a complete jerk. I’m sorry, but that is how I see people with a type A personality. Overconfident, open shirted, necklace wearing and, in short, aggressively up themselves. Apparently, however, this type of person is extremely attractive to the female of the species, the side of the species that I would like to attract. He told us that you have to walk into the room as if you own it. You have to behave as if all eyes are on you and as if you are enjoying every moment of it. Don’t shrink, bloom!

I wanted to point out to him that if I had that sort of personality I probably wouldn’t be doing this course, but felt that they would be inappropriate at that stage. In any event, I suspected he might shout at me. So I just carried on taking notes.

Tip Two: Make Eye Contact

In order to be able to flirt successfully with women and to attract the women that one would like to attract, apparently, he said that one must make eye contact. That seemed to make sense. It has to special eye contact though. Haughty type a, hunting eye contact. It would wouldn’t it? In order to achieve this the contact must last for no more than three seconds. According to the course instructor that should be about three heartbeats. I estimate that he is correct if I am sitting down struggling with the thought of how to explain the functioning is of the stock market to my superiors, which is painful but not frightening, but in the event that I am forced to talk to a woman, however, I suspect that the number of heartbeats should be around nine.