The Thumb-flirting with Women Successfully: A Beginner’s Guide 2

Followers of this column will have by now realised that in between thumbing my mobile phone,

sending personal e-mails in the office, calling the IT-Helpdesk, which is offsite, and drinking coffee, there is room in my life for the pursuit of the female side of Human Capital; Human Capitala, I suppose.

Not being an Alpha, A personality, person, I have been attending a course on the subject of flirting with Human Capitala. Flushed with success having flirted with a Human Capitala in the coffee room (the one with the ex-boyfriend that had heartburn, see: The Thumb: A comprehensive Guide to Flirting with Women Successfully), I decided to attend Tuesday’s course.

Flirting in Bars

Alpha animal was again in full hairy chest exposed flow, but his tips have been very useful I have found. The second part of the course was designed to give us the necessary skills to “pull” in a bar. The nirvana of the Alpha animal and hell for the wimps of the world, the bar is the true testing ground for students of flirtation. I fall into the second group; no black belt, no PHD in chatting up, the last time my lips had contact with those of a girl it was at New Year, there was snow on the ground and she had fallen over. I was the only one with a first aid certificate. Still she did moan a bit, just like they do in those Art Movies. Prior to that my experience was very limited.

Anyway I have been practising being more alpha with my phone. Basically my predictive text is a polyglot and it likes to show off, shaming me in front of any girls in the area. There I am tapping in a brief but romantic text message only to find that it is off on a trip of its own, a dictionary on LSD , using some language that was last alive when Constantinople was run by the Romans. So yeah I have been typing stuff in to try to confuse it. Guess what that is you casuape, I cry! Alpha boy, Alfie as I call him got a bit upset though.

So, Alfie’s tips:

Dress Nicely

No worries with this one. Something with a label, he said, which I have if C and A counts.

Confidence

I have to swagger. Well, you have to swagger. I heard that Ms Monroe cut down one of her heels on her shoe silly) to give her that hip swinging thing, so I invested in a pair of boots and shaved the left heel down a bit. It was uncomfortable at first but you sort of get used to it.