The Wife on The Side

Some men have a woman on the side but to hear some of the women tell it, it is more like the man has a wife on the side.  So, if you have become the wife on the side and you are at a point where you can no longer keep up the pretense that you do not know the truth, then here are some things you may want to consider before making your next move.

1.      Do you still want to be with him?   Allow yourself the time to really ponder this question.  Imagine your day-to-day life.  Waking up in the morning, coming home from work, cooking dinner, and all the other things that make up your day… can you see yourself doing those things without your husband?  Wait until you are calm and decide this for yourself.  Your family and friends may have good intentions with their particular brand of advice but they do not have to live out your decision – you do.  Do what you believe is best for you.  A snap decision will not serve you well. 

2.     Once you determine what is best for you, you have to come to a decision regarding confronting him with the truth.  Inasmuch as it is possible, you must control your emotions during any confrontation.  Raising your voice so that everyone within a 20-mile radius can hear every expletive you utter will end in nothing positive.  You must at all costs maintain your dignity.  If you have decided that you cannot move past his infidelity and you want him to leave, be prepared for the confrontation to conclude in your watching him walk out without so much as a sideways glance in your direction.  However, if you want the end result of the confrontation to be reconciliation, make your expectations clear, and be prepared to watch him walk out without so much as a sideways glance in your direction.  The truth is no matter where you intend for this confrontation to go, being left alone could be the outcome and you have to be in a place within yourself that you will be alright with that.

3.     Now your husband knows you know the truth and he is faced with three obvious choices.  He will decide to respect his marriage vows and make amends, he will persist in his self-serving lifestyle and continue to lie to you about it, or he will leave.  If you appear to be desperate to keep him, chances are he will stay and keep stringing you along until he decides in his own good time which of you he really wants.  The key is to be firm in what you say and be ready to follow through with whatever consequences you set forth.  Weakness has no place here.