The X Factor: Making Up After Breaking Up
by The X factor, that is what it is. You break up with him or her and try to hang on for a few days or weeks but the loneliness is killing you and you feel like going back for you shared so much more. Why would you want your ex back? Read more.
A few days or weeks ago you were lovers but then things did not go well and you broke up. Either you were dumped or you did the dumping but all in all you have never gotten over your separation. It is the X factor and it is always enticing. Why do we always feel like going back to our ex be it after ten days or ten years?
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder – When someone you love or cherish is far away from you, that is when the heart yearns for him or her. It is this absence that plays a trick on your heart to make it easier for your ex to bounce back.
- One man in the house is worth two on the street – Having a man or a woman around you is far much better than beginning the searching process all over again. The agony of searching for love and hoping for the best is not for the feint hearted and that is why taking back an ex remains the better option.
- Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t – There is the possibility that he or she may not be the best there is, but at least you know him, at least she understands your weaknesses. It’s this kind of knowledge of the devil in her that makes one long for an ex before it’s too late.
- The thrill of crystallization – A break up makes lovers see things more clearly than when they were still together. It is this thrill of seeing things better than you did when he or she was around that makes one take on an ex however crude or rude he or she was.
- Shared interests – Believe it or not, there existed some kind of connection that superseded everything else. Even though a relationship may not work, shared or common interests may fail to disappear and soften the heart towards an ex. Children for example are among the shared ties that bind couples.
- The fear of loneliness – Think of the emptiness, think of the void that a break up leaves not only in the heart but also in the house. Who would want to stay that lonely for a long time when going back to an ex is an option? No man or woman loves the idea of loneliness.
- The sex factor – You must have guessed this would crop up. You have heard of the often repeated maxim that goes something like: He was my first love, she was…It is what I want to call the sex factor. Some people never recover from a break up after a relationship in which the sex was larger than life or love.
Can you think of any other reason why you would take him or her back?
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Post CommentLoveDoctor
On November 4, 2010 at 11:41 pm
The key is to keep yourself focused and busy so you don’t have to think of him or her if loneliness is the case. The reason that some people find it hard to forget their ex is because they choose to stay friends and even have makeup sex after a breakup. This is a big NO NO! The love doctor says this never works. The best way is to disconnect from the person completely: no phone calls, no text messages and no email. Now, this plan can backfire because distance does make the heart grow fonder, but then again, if the person doesn’t get the point that the relationship is over and you want nothing to do with them just change your number or put a restraining order.
LoveDoctor
On November 4, 2010 at 11:42 pm
A very good topic and article. good job
papaleng
On November 4, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Another well-researched article. you do have some good observations , specially point #4.
Starpisces
On November 4, 2010 at 11:53 pm
very well said again, Jimmy… so the moral of the story is : It’s not easy to dump people, that’s why this “dumping” topic is on top of the search. Usually when people want to dump people will regret very soon, and will make up very fast.
crisdiwata
On November 5, 2010 at 2:32 am
You got it right! Others also say that first love never dies. What do you think of that?
Jerry Bradford aka Jerry Atrixx
On November 5, 2010 at 2:35 am
I TOTALLY agree with the Love Doctor Leo my man.
Still, this is a good article and there is so much good stuff here.
Aiyanna
On November 5, 2010 at 2:54 am
Good write but I’ll reserve my comments on this one… Keeping busy is a physical thing, the mind can multitask…
M0n3y1989
On November 5, 2010 at 2:59 am
Researched article!
Aiyanna
On November 5, 2010 at 3:14 am
Reading it again with a objective perspective, you discover what you really want and where you want to be and with who. Yes, the interests, the behaviourisms and the person make it very intriguing including other factors… Its nothing to do with familiarity as much as it has to do with chemistry. The changes can either be reversable or irreversable depending on the impact they have on your life as a whole. So yes, if making up after breaking up is possible, walk in by all means if you know that is what you want and who you want to be with.
Which is why my remark, keeping busy is physical but the mind is a multitasker, it is known to move into restricted territories with greatest ease and coming out of it well that is questionable depending on impact… If you love something set it free, if it is yours, it will return….
Hendrik
On November 5, 2010 at 3:15 am
Good.
Jomina
On November 5, 2010 at 5:14 am
Good one. I have been through many breakups in my life. My first wife and I would get together quite often for nookie, simply because it was safe. We knew each other well and knew we’d not catch anything in the doing, so, why not? Still could not live together though
Raj the Tora
On November 5, 2010 at 5:42 am
very nice lesson indeed, with great realistic analysis.
nobert soloria bermosa
On November 5, 2010 at 6:37 am
interesting…
addjust
On November 5, 2010 at 7:11 am
Oh well being a love doctor is such an adorable job. Nice tips.
gaby7
On November 5, 2010 at 8:24 am
A great Acholi proverb says it all: Do not uproot the pumpkin from the old homestead because one day you will need the same to kill the hunger panks! A great post as ever!
Phoenix Montoya
On November 5, 2010 at 10:31 am
Good topic and I agree more on ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.
Phoenix Montoya
On November 5, 2010 at 10:32 am
Good topic and I agree more on \’absence makes the heart grow fonder\’.
albert1jemi
On November 5, 2010 at 4:13 pm
great share
webseowriters
On November 6, 2010 at 9:10 am
hmmm worthy points
researchanalyst
On November 7, 2010 at 2:11 am
thanks so much
LCM Linda
On November 11, 2010 at 6:27 am
Interesting topic. Some couples, their break up is a fake one. When anyone finds a new boy / girlfriend, the ex will come back to claim the man / woman as if they never broke up. Thanks for sharing.