Therapy For a Broken Heart: The Five Stages of Death and Dying
by This is a self-help for anyone confused about love and unrequited love. This piece explores the deep abyss that is a broken heart.
Stage 5 is acceptance. You’ve done everything else you can and there’s nothing left to do or say. Damage has been done, but you’re ready to move on. Disappear into nothing and face the darkness that everyone must: you have a broken heart. You’re unfeeling now. This is what I want. I want to accept what fate is bringing me. I’m not going to love you anymore. I know we will never be together. There’s nothing I can do. There, it’s all over now.
Things to remember
- Most people who are going through this process want to talk about it. Friends and family should be there and be supportive. I need someone to hold me up. I need you to help me get through this. You don’t have to give me advice or know what to say, just be there when I cry.
- Not everyone will go through all five stages. Other people, like me, will exhibit symptoms of more than one stage at a time. The stages are not in a definite order. Besides acceptance, they may all reoccur multiple times. Most of my time is spent in stages 1 and 4, but everyone is different. I wish I could get stuck in stage 2 before moving on to acceptance. I guess I’m in stage 4 right now because I don’t think I will ever get to the final stage. When will I reach my acceptance?
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Post CommentCandace Wade
On June 23, 2008 at 10:41 am
OMG……..i went through all five stages……but i’ve learned a valuable lesson….from every relationship there is a lesson learned….it makes you stronger and you are coming closer to finding what you want and who you are……and heartache makes you alot wiser so you can help someone through when they are down
Lulu
On November 30, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I went through all of these once before…so why do I have to go through again? is so wrong. I keep trying to find out what is it that I learned from this relationship but I don’t see anything. All I do is cry right now I am waiting for the part when I don’t hurt anymore…
ArcX
On March 13, 2009 at 3:04 pm
i guess its a bit strange iam a guy she’s gone for good….with another guy but I’m a survivor…..I love myself…I’ll never quit….She’ll regret it because I’m special always was nobody is gonna treat her that way…..when its too late she’ll come back but then hopefully I’ll find the princess of my life…
looh
On April 21, 2009 at 12:30 am
i am a married guy. my wife is nice and i care for her. i have met someone at work and she is really nice and i think of her all the time. we talk a lot about my life she rarely says much about hers.she is also married. i just cant stop myself thinking of her. i have been in denial, anger, bargain ( still going on ) and depression. so these stages are really true.
any suggestions what i should do.
Demi
On June 3, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I didn’t get to the acceptance stage until long after I married someone else. It took around 10 years of marriage before it occurred to me that I wouldn’t leave him if I could get the other one back. I guess after years of sharing and being there and going through so much together the love grew. It wasn’t bells and whistles but deeper and more solid.
I’m sorry you’re hurting.
Amir
On July 9, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I think you forgot to mention one thing, a very important one i.e. “Love”. No true love would need all these negative feelings or treatment. Any such love which becomes hurtful is not love at all. It can be anything but love. Yes, people “use” someone’s innocent hearts for their own purpose. But instead of destroying ourselves, how about punishing the one who tried to kill our soul and innocent love via such deceitful way? I don’t mean violence, but simply loving the person enough that he/she is told about it loud enough. Every human, no matter how twisted he/she is, will listen and correct themselves in future. You’d never have them, but their love will always be there, irreplaceable by anyone else. Accept it and enjoy “love”, not the deceiver, but your own innocent and beautiful love.
jenny
On February 17, 2010 at 8:55 pm
looh
You are not alone, I have just walked away from the same situation as yours. It took some guts, but he was never going to leave his wife and if he had, would things have worked out? No, too much baggage, my kids and his disrupted and think of the fallout. Nice to fantasize about but, I think reality is quite different. Good luck in whatever you choose to do