There’s No Express Check Out at Heartbreak Hotel

Never ending, or so it seems.

Humans never plan on having their heart broken. It just happens. Usually when you least expect it. Chances are you believe no one has ever felt this kind of pain and couldn’t even begin to understand.

Whether its heartbreak from a death, end of a relationship or some sort of other loss (such as moving away from your friends), it hurts. Deep down inside.

You go through the usual stages – sadness, denial, anger (no particular order). You look for answers. Why did this happen? Why me? That’s all part of the “healing” process.

Healing is when the pain is gone, the wound has fixed itself over time and hopefully left you scar less. No reminders of pain.

Pain is uncomfortable, but it’s an ignition for creativeness (ever thought about why most love songs are created?) and self improvement (“I will look better than his/her new partner”). The pain of heartbreak isn’t your usual wound that can be fixed with a few sutures and a prescription.

Time doesn’t heal a broken heart either, time just makes it easier to look back, accept the outcome and the incidents that preceded it. The pain will always be there but because you have accepted it, it’s easier to handle. The pain is there as a reminder. A reminder of a lesson learned (“I won’t date a guy like that again”) or how not to take things for granted in life (“I should have told my father before he passed that I loved him”).

It’s tough to get over pain; it takes a long time, a lot of tissues, empty nights and missed social events with friends. Rushing or ignoring it (or drowning it in booze) won’t make it go away. Be brave and accept it. When you’re ready of course.

Recognizing Your Strength

After a while, you start to notice the pain isn’t as bad as last week – you didn’t cry when you look at the old photos, you were able to sleep better last night and you found yourself listening to slightly chirpier music.

You’re getting stronger. Your mind is no longer dragging you down or making you feel sorry for yourself. You feel like you can live your life again. One day at a time.

The pain will still be there to catch you off guard once in a while (its ok), which is where you have to almost fight with yourself to keep your head above water. When you feel a “twang” of sadness or anger arise visualize yourself in a better situation (“I look better in these heels than his new girlfriend”). Of course, everyone wants to be pain free, but this real life. It’s never that easy.

It’s ok to cry. Its acceptance working it’s magic. Acknowledge the presence of pain and use it in a positive way.

One day you will notice just how much stronger a person you are and how the “twangs” have decreased in frequency…just when you least expected it.