Three Indirect Factors Responsible for Ruining a Relationship

It has been many years now since I have started working as a mediator to solve some of my friends’ relationship problems. Many times I have been successful in bringing back happiness to them. However, they often turned out to be temporary! After a few days or week things went back to square one and my phone rang again constantly so I could again start working on solving their problems, which were sometimes old and sometimes totally fresh out of the oven. It was exhausting, yet I was determined to help them. And when I try to solve these issues I make an attempt to go deep into their roots. To my surprise, this attempt has guided me towards some unusual factors that make relationships complicated more dangerously than I thought. My findings also concluded that most often it is not really the direct fault of the two people involved in the relationship. But what are those factors? Read below to learn about them.

1. Taking In What Parents Did- The definition of a relationship is better learned at home. That is, children learn by seeing what their parents do with each other as husband and wife. Additionally, they take great pleasure in listening to the stories about the love relationships parents had with other people before they came into each other’s life. But before understand what impact this can have on children let me tell a story here about a guy friend I had a few years ago. His name was Shawn. He was a new student in my college. Once when talking to him he mentioned to me that he never had much luck with women. He also told me about his dream to have that perfect girl in his life with whom he wanted to travel around the world. He also mentioned that he dated fourteen women, yet could not even have a 6 months relationship with them. He seemed very upset about the female species because all the women he dated decided to walk away from him. I was quite surprised to learn about it and stayed that way because he even did not have answer to why they did so. But soon I learned the reason. Once he introduced me to his step dad with whom I found myself comfortable within a few minutes. He told me stories of his college days. However, most of these stories revolved around a long list of his ex-girlfriends. He told me how he had sex partners, how some of his ex-girlfriends walked out on him, how he then became careful and how when dating he took precaution to not get hurt by committing to the girlfriends only after being their friend first. He explained that by being a friend to them he was able to understand whether his relationship with them would be secure. And that is how he actually got into the relationship with Shawn’s mother. I talked to Shawn after that many times. Once, however, he mentioned to me that he followed what his step dad and mother did. He first told his dates to be his friends so he could check whether they were suitable for him. But he complained that they did not want to stay. Moreover, he mentioned that some of these datings went for three to six months until the girls said goodbye to him. From this what I understood was that Shawn heard his parents’ love story and thought this was the best approach to starting a relationship. However, what he was missing here was that every girl did not carry his mother’s personality and viewpoint. Although many girls are fine to be friends first if the guy does not come up with a decision to commit within a certain limited time they will certainly look else where.