Timing, Understanding and Communication

Drifting apart starts from petty problems

I guess everybody of us have experienced something of this sort. You’re watching a basketball game and it’s coming down to the last few seconds, then out of nowhere your spouse (husband/wife) comes around and offer you cake trying to feed you and he/she is actually blocking your view, then we shove them aside saying “I’m trying to finish this game”, but they continue to force-feed us. We end up missing that end-game play and we get irritable and angry. Then they will lament “I’m just trying to be sweet” or at worst they will get angry too and simply walk away hurt, dejected and rejected. Here’s another one: A suspense movie going into the final stage or a drama anthology reaching its climax and here he/she is trying to wipe your face which is covered in dirt or sometimes talking with you (which of course you aren’t inclined to listen). Haven’t we notice how many quarrels started from this sort?

Let’s have another example: You have a very excited news to share, you’re talking animatedly with your partner, then before you knew it here he/she is fussing over tiny details and hardly listening to you. What do you feel during those moments? You get angry for not sharing your excitement, right? And then they will moan about not being appreciated! What’s this all about?

Timing and understanding should always go hand in hand. If we look at the whole picture, in their own respective ways, they both have the right to be angry. Yet after the moment has passed, both should try to reach out and resolve the difference. It’s these little petty quarrels that are left unresolved that always lead to drifting apart of couples.

Here’s another one: You have a funny story to share, you can hardly get the words off because you’re practically laughing while you’re talking. After finishing your story you just realized one thing, your partner is not listening at all. Instead he/she is focusing the attention on your kid, wiping his face (or picking up things on the floor), then to cap it all they will simply say something which is way, way off the topic. What would you feel? Frustrating, isn’t it? Actually when you’re the one sharing the joke, it’s not even funny. A lot of times you simply walk away from it or keep quiet, then when they ask and you tell them, they will get angry saying “Can’t you see, I’m taking care of our baby.” Again it’s all about timing, but it’s all about understanding (from both parties). I bet next time you have funny stories to tell you’ll have second thought about sharing it to him/her.