Today I Am Going to Tell My Friend Goodbye

I am 21 years old and think I love this man but I don’t believe that this long term relationship is going to work. He is in Texas and I am in Missouri. He was here but went to visit his dad and decided to stay. Since he has been gone for six months I believe you could say that he lives there now.

We talk on the phone and I still have deep feelings for him but I want to live my life. Is that wrong? It’s sort of like having me on hold while he clicks over and talks on the other line. He says that he wants to come back and get married and start a family. I suppose being 26 he would think like that. I don’t want to get married at 21 and be someone’s wife.

I do love him and I have told him that. He says he loves me and I believe him. I am honest to a fault which gets me in trouble a lot of the time with him because I have told him I don’t want to be anyone’s wife at 21. If he wants to come back and continue our relationship where we left off, that would be great. He says he can do that and wait for me to want to be his wife.

He has seen other people and so have I, but we still continue to come back to each other with this long distance relationship. When he asks me I tell him the truth. There goes my honesty again. I believe if you don’t want to know the answer, don’t ask the question. I won’t tell you what you want to hear, I will tell you the truth. I believe this is especially important concerning my feelings and the feelings of others. I don’t deliver the message in any form to hurt the other person. However, I believe that you shouldn’t lie about these things that are so deep that they cut you to the bone.

I am stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I believe I love this man but maybe I am not in love with him. If I was in love with him I would want to be his wife. When he asked I wouldn’t hesitate in my mind or in my heart. I am not there yet and I have told him so.