Top Ten Lies Told by Women Translated

6.       I don’t know where it is, I haven’t touched it.  Watch the face closely because translated this mean, I think I put it somewhere but I’m not sure where so I’m going to play dumb until you leave for work and I can actually look for it.  If it isn’t found then by not saying that I’ve touched it leaves all the blame in your lap for the loss.  Or we can easily blame the children or dog or whoever is near.

7.       I didn’t have that much to drink.  After the cab ride home, the loss of one shoe, and the rip in the skirt, this is usually told with a very straight face.  Just wait until the morning, play the music really loud and show them that it really was a lie.

8.       I’ve got a headache.  This lie translates into:  I I don’t feel like cooking, this is the last time I’m cleaning lollipop juice out of the car, you want what?  I’ve got a headache is the get out of jail free card that we use, if you see our eyes roll back in our head and we’re sucking on a bottle of Children’s Motrin after a day with the kids, this isn’t really a lie.

9.       No, I didn’t throw it away.  Again watch the eyes, because this ties very well with “I don’t know where it is, I haven’t touched it.”  If you say that you are running to the store, you can guarantee that when you get back home, the kitchen’s clean, your wife found what you were looking for, and her hands are remarkably clean!

10.   Sorry I missed your call.  I was busy trying on that “not new” outfit that wasn’t that expensive because it was on sale.  Oh, and I stopped by Ruby Tuesday with my friends so that’s why I had to get the cab ride home.

As with any relationship, communication is the key.  Don’t worry about these little white lies, smile enjoy that new outfit and communicate about what is really important.  “Honey, is that shirt new?”