Top Ten Ways to Pick Up Chicks
by The ten best ways to a woman’s heart and parts beyond.
- Be rich. Picking up women is just easier if you look like you can give them whatever they want. It’s not exactly something you can work on, but it’s a good angle to take if you have the goods to back it up. Also, you can just keep buying women drinks until one of them is blind enough to go home with you.
- Work hard. Work out, be persistent, make clever conversation. Observe from a distance to see what will interest her – check for expensive clothes (=high standards, likes a fashionable guy), comfortable shoes (=practical, down to earth), tattoos (=creative, adventurous). Instead of hanging around in clubs, join a rock climbing class or a cooking course – that way you know at least one thing about the people there. Just make sure you research the subject first so you have something to say…
- Learn from the pros. Study the moves of on screen cuties – watch Brad Pitt’s mannerisms, that look that George Clooney gives – master the cute, shy head tilt and you’re set J also, don’t shy away from porn – if you’ve never seen it done properly, you’re hardly going to excel.
- Look good. Yes, love is about what’s inside but you’ve got to make a good first impression in order to get that far. Take care of yourself – clean your teeth, keep your hair looking and smelling good, invest in some nicely fitting clothes…shave for god’s sake! And smile – nice and non-threatening J
- Work out. Girls do appreciate guys taking the effort to work out, plus they can feel protected and safe. Besides, flabbiness is never sexy. Oh and a note on tattoos – a gorgeous dragon tattoo or some nice tribal work can make a sexy back even sexier, but zombie tattoos will get you nowhere with anybody. ANYBODY.
- Magic. If you’ve got absolutely nothing else going for you, you can always try magic tricks – subtly. Seriously, this is a last ditch option. Creating fire out of nothing can be cheap and pretty cool looking.
- The on purpose accident. This is when you bump into a girl, spill her drink and offer to buy her e new one. This has to be well timed – you just want to bump her a little – you’re totally out of luck if you injure her or spill any of the drink on her clothes.
- Pick off a weak member of the herd. Look for the cute shy girl in the corner by the snack table trying to look busy and inconspicuous. She’s not the hottest girl at the party dancing in the spotlight but you’ll have a far better chance with her and she’ll probably be a lot nicer.
- The pig and the hero act (requires a wingman). Your friend goes up to the girl in question and says something offensive/sexist/generally piggish (but not too offensive to get him beaten up by some other knight in shining armour) then you sweep in and send him packing with a good dose of chivalry and bravery.
- Be honest? Sometimes you can succeed just by being honest about your thoughts and intentions. A majority of the time it won’t work but if it does, you’ll probably end up with a really adorable, eccentric girl.
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Post CommentBrandonGates
On June 27, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Like the way you’re thinking.