Troubled Marriages

The issue of troubled marriages has become a great challenge to churches, families and society at large. Most marriages do not turn out to be what they promise to be. The vows taken during the marriage ceremony does not hold much meaning and strength any more to the couples involved. Instead of being an institution established on love that is patient, kind, that does not boast, envy, keep record of sins, and is not proud, rude, self-seeking nor easily angered according to the 13th chapter of the first letter of St Paul to the Corinthians, it is built on selfish ulterior motives that could range from financial, social, political, procreation, family pressures, business arrangement, and other reasons.

When a house is built with inferior materials and is laid on a weak foundation, it eventually collapses. The same applies to a marriage that is built with fake emotions and wrong reasons, a marriage whose foundation is not laid on true feelings and reasons. It consequently collapses.

The big question that has been aching the heads of marriage counselors, pastors and families is how to salvage the wrecked marriages, how to make sweet, a marriage that has turned sour?

The concept of troubled marriage is common to both the newly married and those that have been married for long. In any case, the problem might lie with a couple or just one of them. What can be done when the two parties are guilty?

Although going for marriage counseling with a pastor or professional counselor is good, but the working out of a marriage lies solely with couple. They have to open their hearts and put into actions what they will be told at the counseling. The case of the two parties being guilty could be easier to handle and difficult at the same time. It could be easier in the sense that two of them are guilty and no one would feel victimized and difficult in the sense that they would be waiting for who will take the first step. This could better be settled by a close or related third party coming in to make them realize what they are doing since the issue of admitting guilt does not come easily. Such situation also needs marriage counseling or therapy or a pastor to talk them into resolving their differences and encourage them to forgive, love, respect, trust, care, for each other again since according to Faith A Oyedepo, “a good marriage does not just happen, it is consciously made to happen.” They should therefore, not allow faults and guilt to build up for this is what results to the bigger problems.