Unmarried While Black (Uwb)

My advice to black women that do want to eventually get marry is this:

1.      Start young. That doesn’t mean get married straight out of college. It means by age 24 decide if you really want to get married and have a family. While working on your career, get involved with young professionals social groups or other groups (do not rely on the club to find a potential husband) to find a guy that could be husband material down the line. Someone who may not have the 5-figure income yet, but is ambitious and has goals (not dreams, but goals). Starting at this age gives you time to test the guys on an individual basis, while working on your career. Getting the ambitious guy before he becomes insanely successful can make him more loyal to you, because he sees you being there when he was starting out. Also, by the time you’re in your thirties and your biological clock is ticking, hopefully you won’t be scrambling to find a man but would have one ready to pop the question.

2.      Set realistic requirements. These requirements shouldn’t be solely based on education, money, and somewhat non-important issues like a height requirement. Write down character and personality requirements you want in a mate. Remember, if your man is successful, then it means that other women are looking at him too, not just you. If you’re serious about having a long-term successful marriage, loyalty and faithfulness should be placed ahead of material wealth.

3.      Ditch the baggage early. Don’t spend too much time on a guy you know is a bad fit for you. Know the warning signs and don’t try to excuse them away. If the guy doesn’t meet your character requirements, cut him early. Don’t waste time with the successful and ambitious guy you can’t trust around your sister or friends. You can’t change him, so don’t try. Cut him off, don’t let him back in (regardless how good the sex is), and move on with your life. That doesn’t mean go find another man, but refocus and rededicate your life to yourself and your career until you are ready to date again without putting the faults of the ex on the new man.