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Up in The Club…while in a Relationship!

This is a back and forth dialog between a man and woman, discussing their different views on strip clubs, why men go to them, and if it is ok for men to go to them while in a committed relationship.

What’s your take?

Paul: Most women are against strip clubs because they don’t understand the psychology behind them. Strip clubs, to most men, are like psychotherapy. Women think men go to a strip club to see naked beautiful women and that’s partially true. Problem is for the most part: 1) you cannot see said “beautiful” women cuz its dark 2) They probably aren’t beautiful, that’s why it’s dark. It’s quite ironic.

 Men go to strip clubs because when you’re in a relationship, getting a lap dance is gives you a boost of confidence; rarely will a stripper say you smell like shit, when in fact you may smell like shit. Men go to strip clubs to escape the monotony of most relationships, which hurt their egos, through the constant nagging and criticism.

Steph: Let me just start by saying that women KNOW men go to strip clubs to see naked women, but a beautiful women is not what I envision when I think of a stripper. Quite the contrary, for the most part what I picture is some drugged out girl who needs some sleep, and a hug. And I fail to see how PAYING for some random naked women to gyrate on your lap can possibly give you a boost of confidence! I mean YOU’RE PAYING!! THEY’RE WORKING! These women don’t like you, you’re nothing but their bread and butter…or a supporter of their coke habit, whatever the case may be. Furthermore, if your ego is being damaged by your girlfriend (or wife), and if you are THAT bored by the “monotony” of your relationship, then maybe, just maybe, you are not with the right person. Oh, and p.s, if that paid lap dance is such an ego boost than I guess a prostitute must be the boost of a lifetime!

Paul: Firstly, the reason lap dances help your ego is because of the aforementioned psychology. Strippers will say whatever as long as you’re paying. So regardless of how much of a scrub you are, they will always tell you how handsome you are, how nice you’re dressed, etc. The sexuality of the lap dance is only a portion of the service, really men get laps dances for the nice things they be saying to us, haha. I’m glad that we are their “bread and butter”, nothing’s worse then going to a strip club with a guy who catches feelings.

It’s a business transaction, nothing more, nothing less. Plus, you can’t assume ALL strippers have drug habits, although I’m sure a lot do, it would be an unfair generalization. I think that most men cannot help getting a little bored, and nothing is wrong with going to strip clubs on occasions – stags, birthdays, etc. Oh and prostitution is illegal, so umm there!

Steph: Ok, I guess I can understand why MAYBE a stripper could stroke a man’s..ego. Be that as it may, I believe it’s totally inappropriate for a man who is in a relationship to be 1) going to strip clubs, and especially 2) getting lap dances. Lap dances are basically a free pass to cheat! In what other setting could a completely naked woman rub up on another woman’s boyfriend or husband and have it be ok? It’s cheating pure and simple. Having said that, I must point out that each relationship is different, so what is unacceptable to me may be just fine to another woman. 

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