We are All Sick?

We are all sick?

“Dating a guy for two years and are getting married next year. The question is: do not love. I love, in fact, recently I met another man and he has a strong hope that one day we can be together. I do not know to do, because every time I try to end the current and take the new relationship, I am threatened. My boyfriend says he will kill me and kill himself. not even hear that I love another. He says I’m yours.’ve bought our home, which is ready for us to change in March. What do I do with this love that drives me crazy? “.

Stories like Mary’s are more common than you, the reader can imagine. I get emails from men and women in similar situations. They are about to get married or are married and suddenly realizes that one of the two love each other. A former, a new love comes in, a colleague, a friend who became more than a friend, something or something changes in the relationship, it is still important.

In some cases, these relationships are already sick from the beginning. Relationships that are started, stopped, returned numerous times for various reasons. The accent seems even the thriller break and reattach. That feeling of “What will be this week? Let’s stay together or not?”. They are couples who have their bags ready, for whatever reason, leave the boat. And then, when another comes, well, everything else is provocative.

The discussion today is: why insist on a relationship with so many comings and goings? Why insist on a relationship that begins pie? Why head to the altar and say YES? Is that not a disease?

Think of me, love can not be.

You know couples like that? Yeah, there. And then the call is: Why not stop to discuss the relationship and begin to discuss the problems of the relationship? In many cases, only the change of view would be a balm, and then began what may be bent to straighten it …

Negotiate the problem that is bothersome, as we feel with this or that attitude is different from negotiating the end of the relationship is more mature, more adult. Quit slamming the door, feet, whichever is childish and does not help. Because, when this happens, the other goes out the problems and focuses only on the resumption of the relationship, sick or not.

And yes, it hurts. Increases dependency.

Imagine you live on the verge of a breakup! Have to walk on eggshells to not upset the other, and if it suddenly decides to go on forever?

This is not life!

Who wants to see love each other happy. Who loves respects the limits of another, is with the other, does not have possession of this – and this is also different.

Who loves cares. Allows. Grows with the other faces, stands, loves and is loved. So, if so, is that what this reader has a chance of living to work?

Unfortunately, I fear not. A relationship based on fear, selfishness, manipulation, can not go far unless you both decide to stop everything and review. In this case, there is not much to do, because she does not love, and if there is no love, like to stay? It may be that she is deluded with the other, but even this only in an environment of therapy she can understand. Fact is that something must be done. She needs to take life into their own hands, if only to ask for help. If you are still hostage to one another, it will not be happy and, worse, become an eternal victim at the mercy of another …

If with all the world love, respect, commitment, devotion, resignation and everything else that asks a dual relationship, such as presence, care, compassion etc.. And yet, facing crisis, ups and downs, what can we expect from a relationship that begins to reverse?

Well, here is the invitation to the reader. Seek expert help. Start a process of therapy. Try to understand what you are looking for and what is the pleasure in being the victim, be between two men who want …