What Does It Really Mean to Forgive and Forget?-part One
by Your emotional health is at stake.
CS Lewis once said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea till they have something to forgive.”
Before you get to forgive someone, you have to go through those heated and hurtful moments first. It can either be a disagreement, a betrayal of trust between 2 parties or even a criminal offence committed upon you. It is medically proven that being able to forgive and forget dramatically lowers your heart rate and reduces the risks of high blood pressure and stress related illnesses.
Now that you know the breakdown, try to look into it further. There are different levels of forgiveness for different situations.
Level 1-Disagreement
Disagreement between two parties are a common thing that happens everyday to all of us. It can be between people you work with, family members or friends. Usually the more heated the argument is, the longer it takes to cool down. It also depends on the stress level a person experiencing it is able to handle. Disagreements are however within your control. The guilty party will always the one who refuses to stop.
How to Forgive?
The most common daily disagreements can be easily snuffed out both by parties simply by going out for dinner or having desert together. Winding down and talking things out quickly will normally settle most disagreements. The key is to solve the issues as fast as possible. You should not let it fester for days and weeks or even worse, months. Do it before both parties negative perception of each other becomes permanent!
“Differences of opinions are a mercy.”- Muhammad.
Once you understand the person better, try listening more often to his or her opinions. Stay calm when the other party is angry. Staying cool even when you disagree would ensure that no big disagreements will happen. If you practice staying calm and cool, all would be forgotten quickly. The one who benefits most out of this outcome would be the one who understands the real cause of the problem.
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Post CommentStarpisces
On August 3, 2010 at 7:34 am
wow, well presented! A very forgiving person like me usually will forgive people (but depend on what level), but usually don’t forget easily… depends…if we were to put ourselves into others’ shoes, analyse the situation, and may forgive later, but not immediately… maybe by then I have already slapped the person…heehee.
(agree on part I, for part 2, depends, after I have read).
Shamyl
On August 3, 2010 at 9:11 am
Great write up brother.
LoveDoctor
On August 3, 2010 at 10:21 am
There is a lot of truth in this article. It’s hard to go up to someone and say I am sorry, but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. seeking revenge is not good. A great article.
Goodselfme
On August 3, 2010 at 11:54 am
Forgiving can happen a lot sooner than forgetting.Well composed and presented well too. thank you.
Videomark
On August 3, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Forgiving with the mouth is easy, forgiving with the heart is difficult.
Eunice Tan
On August 3, 2010 at 10:19 pm
A timely article, I am facing a very stubborn person.
Anuradha Ramkumar
On August 4, 2010 at 12:09 am
Gr8 article. I read the part 2 of this article first. Both of them are really gr8.
SharifaMcFarlane
On August 4, 2010 at 4:42 am
Chuckle. ‘The guilty party will always be the one that refuses
to stop’.
Kaye TM
On August 4, 2010 at 9:53 am
nicely written sharif. =p
zoeyclark
On August 4, 2010 at 2:37 pm
It has been a while since you posted something, welcome back:)
Well, I love the beginning quote and agree with it. I also think it pretty much depends on what you need to forgive…
Francois Hagnere
On August 5, 2010 at 8:57 am
A great write my dear friend. I simply loved it. Somethimes it is difficult to forgive, but when we try and overcome, how beautiful it is. Take good care dear Sharif, peace be with you always.
Aileen Tecson
On August 6, 2010 at 3:44 pm
to forgive is easy the only hard is forgetting.
LOVELYHONEY
On August 7, 2010 at 1:18 am
ur secrets of good health u share
so do i wish to
we charge to discharge and discharge to recharge
hence my sermon
any one who benefits and adds on a smile
likes it
likes this
My sermon for the day
You do steel all hearts
and also steal smiles,
hope this you have heard
today I shall compose
no poem
but this one maybe,
I’m only going to comment
on everyone,
hope you shall too
spare a day,
for poets like me
Who onTriond’s
their poetry display
1hopefulman
On August 7, 2010 at 8:03 am
“The key is to solve the issues as fast as possible. You should not let it fester for days and weeks or even worse, months. Do it before both parties negative perception of each other becomes permanent!” It makes a lot of sense to me!
S A JOHNSON
On August 8, 2010 at 11:58 pm
Very true.
RAJEEV BHARGAVA
On October 26, 2010 at 9:03 pm
this is such a wonderful article and i completely agree with you 100% i loved the illustration at the start too. thanks very much for the lovely share. and now, i’m off to read part two.