What is Love?

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Everyone has their own views on love and being in love. The definition of love is different for everyone. Some of the definitions on the Web are, a strong positive emotion of regard and affection, beloved, get pleasure from, a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction, a score of zero in tennis or squash, and sleep together. It is said that there is no definition for love because it is a feeling and each person feels things differently.

The chemical basis of love can be split up into three stage that overlap one another. The first being lust, which is the sexual drive that promotes mating. The feeling of lust is when the hormones testosterone and estrogen are released into the body. This stage does not endure for a long amount of time. It does grow into the attraction stage.

Which is the romantic desire you have toward another person. While this is happening the body is releasing pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. These chemicals have the same affects as amphetamines which stimulate the brains pleasure center and lead to increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an feeling of excitement. This stage is known to last about a year and a half to three years.

The third stage is the attachment stage and accounts for the longevity of relationships. Attachment is the bonding that happens between two people. This is why some relationships can last for decades. This also explains the reason why we love out children all of their lives. The attachment stage has been linked to produce higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin in the body than in the short term stages.

By these terms it seems that Shakespeares’ Romeo and Juliet had been in it’s lust stage when the lovers killed themselves. It’s terrible to ruin everyone’s romantic idea of the star crossed lovers but this is the fact and with them both being adolescents doesn’t help there case. If you are still young and are looking for your Romeo it may be wiser to look for your friend first and then later in life look for your Romeo. There are those few who do find their happily ever after while still in high school but they are few and far between.

This is not said to hurt anyone or to discourage love. This is merely a warning from one woman who has had her heart broken and who has broken some hearts. Everyone thinks love is a dream and that maybe just it, a dream. One you will wake up from feeling disappointed and hurt. You do have to go through heart break to grow and that is just one of the many ways to learn what love is. It’s definitely not the most romantic way but who doesn’t learn by trial and error.

The Greek make love seem even more like a dream with their gods falling in love with mortal humans and vice versa. They make love look like you will only find love if you are blessed with beauty or other extraordinary skills. There was Cupid who would shoot magic arrows at people to get them to fall in love. There is Aphrodite who is the god of love and in her most famous story promised a married woman to a man and basically tore apart a happy marriage for her own greed.

There are several other comparisons that can be made in either direction. The purpose of this article is to get the reader to think about things before diving in head first. It may be your only chance before you make a huge mistake you wish you could take back. It wont cost you anything to look into yourself and see what it is you really want. If you are young make sure you give yourself a chance to grow before you settle down it may save you a lot of heart break and regret.