When Do Couples Need Marriage Counseling?

When a man and a woman take their marriage vows, they are both sure and determined to love, honor and respect each other for the rest of their lives. They will look at each other eyes dreamily seeing only the qualities they saw during their courtship and dating stage. Marriage counseling is the farthest thing that they need in their future as husband and wife.  

They will go through a honeymoon stage and discover more of the qualities each of them possesses and this time whatever escaped their thoughtful observations will slowly begin to surface. Differences will now crop up but still, marriage counseling is not necessary. The vows they took are still fresh in their minds. Married life is bliss and the coming of a baby will add more happiness in their lives. 

Now this will only be true if both the man and the woman are very clear of what their roles are. It is only when you forget your vows and your role that the need for marriage counseling will arise. As a responsible family man, a guy will do everything he can to provide for his family and will put their well-being and security first and foremost in his mind. 

As a devoted and loving mother, the woman stays home to make the house a bright and warm place to come home to after her man’s busy day at work. There will be food warm and waiting, while the baby lies peacefully sleeping, well cared for and fed. If this becomes a well cherished scenario, then the couple does not need any marriage counseling. 

This is the ideal set up of a happy family life where marriage counseling has no use.  Both of them will have each other’s welfare and comfort in mind and if any conflict or difference creates a rift in their relationship, they will thresh it out and settle to a compromise because they vowed to love, honor and respect each other. The more reason that this should be given emphasis because a child lies peacefully sleeping in his bed and his or her future lies in their ability to stay true to their marriage vows. 

If any of one of the partner becomes discontented and looks for the pleasures they used to have when they were not burdened by familial responsibilities, then there is trouble brewing. Marriage counseling may have to intervene to remind them again of the vows they committed to when they decided to get married. 

Marriage counseling will also have to remind them that when their relationship was still new, they had enough patience and understanding to accept whatever differences they may have. It was purely because they intended to share the rest of their lives together. Once they get into the habit of nit-picking and making each other’s lives miserable, it only means they are already looking for a way out. 

Marriage counseling can only guide the paths the couples are taking, in trying to rebuild or patch-up a relationship. However, if a partner is unwilling, no amount of marriage counseling can do it for drifting couples. Willingness to go through marriage counseling by both partners is still a good indication that both of them still value the marriage. If only one is willing, marriage counseling can only help the other by providing moral support and perhaps the strength to face the inevitable.         

For more useful information, please visit our website: THE KNOWLEDGE BASE, and look for the FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS section.